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On week three.

May 3, 2018
The burnout level is high. Three hours each way (six hours daily) my husband commutes to his job.  Nobody thought this was sustainable but I don't think I thought it would be this bad. The pressure of solely parenting five days per week, coupled with preparing a house for (I hope) a tenant is jus...
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Recent Entries

  • On losing Henry.
    May 1, 2018
    I wrote about Henry in the last entry; our "fake" cockapoo who ended up being a kind of pomeranian mix. We rescued him a week after my husband's poodle died.  I insisted that we go to the highest kill shelter in the area and find a dog.  We met Henry.  He was energetic and seemed…
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  • On loneliness.
    April 28, 2018
    I still feel awful about Sarah. My husband has done two weeks of his nightmare commute.  He is absent. I am unsupported.  My children miss him.  He doesn't seem to even try to be present for the little time he IS here.  It makes me sick.  Just leave then. Why is cheating wrong?  JFC, I…
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  • On Sarah.
    April 25, 2018
    It has been many days since I handed our sweet maltese puppy mill dog to the rescue. I am broken.  I was also quite angry.  This is not the first time this has happened and while I swore it would be the last, my husband flaked and left it on me.  I later got an…
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  • On quitting.
    April 18, 2018
    Sometimes I forget about this place. Isn't that sad?  It's like, it's been gone so long and it became so NOT a part of daily life that I sometimes forget it really exists. A couple of weeks ago, I went on another PhD colloquium for a few days.  I wish I could say getting away…
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  • On rage. rage. rage.
    April 8, 2018
    I seem to only come here when I am frustrated, angry, upset.  Which paints a picture that I am only ever those things. Of course that's not true.  I think my diary is the complete opposite of social media.  I always remind myself that social media is not real life.  I think in those spaces,…
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  • On homeschooling.
    March 27, 2018
    I'm writing because I don't feel like doing JACK. SHIT. on my school shit.  Who am I kidding anyway? A few entries back, I wrote about the job that my husband will likely take and it will take him out of the house 5 days per week.  I wrote how much I am generally looking…
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  • on LOLing, prosebox.
    March 27, 2018
    Prosebox, the "go to" when OD sunk years ago, is going away. I'm laughing because I was sitting and reading the comments (you GOTTA read the comments, they're often better than the damned story) and, predictably, those who adore prosebox are saying precisely what people like me said years ago whe...
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  • On sickness and health.
    March 24, 2018
    There's a job that will take my husband away 5 days per week.  I think he's going to accept it and I think I am not sorry.  I think I like the thought of him being gone 5 days a week. I will admit that I am desperate to have an affair.  I will further…
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  • On despair.
    March 17, 2018
    It is difficult to type with blurry vision, but my eyes are so full of tears.  At least I can touch type, and the general shape of the text tells me I've typed what I've meant to. My marriage is crumbling.  But this is not new. Sometimes I ignore it.  Sometimes, I choose to live…
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