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Six days = Two yrs gone

November 23, 2010
Oh god lil brother in less then a week you would have been gone two years. I remember the last time I saw you. I was trying to show you the Christmas present I got for Basil but you would not wake up enough to talk to me. The last time we talked was the…
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Recent Entries

  • Opening the Door to Death
    November 6, 2010
                My dad's body died 3 months ago, but I truely believe he died when my brother did almost 2 years ago now. I truely wonder if he would have gotten lung cancer if my brother was still alive. I don't know but I do...
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  • Concern Not Smothering
    August 15, 2010
    First I just want to thank you all for the kind notes. Believe it or not I have been on here almost daily reading all of your diaries but I am a horrible noter :) I had a mild dust up with my mom the other day. She thought I was smothering her by asking 4 times if she…
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  • Nine Days Since Dad Died
    August 12, 2010
    Its been awhile since I wrote here. I wanted to get my thoughts down and a report of the events of my dads death before the memory starts to fade. On April 29th my dad came back from a business trip. He was vomiting and had other GI problems. We all thought it was food…
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  • 21 Weeks Today
    April 25, 2009
    Its been 21 weeks to the day that my brother died. I still can not shake the feelings of guilt and failure. He was my little brother and it was my job to protect him. I failed oh I am so sorry lil brother. Being the big brother was so much a part of what…
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  • Life Began Out There.
    March 24, 2009
    In some ways this week was as hard as the week my brother died. There was alot of drama going on with his wife and son and our parents. Alot of shit I am not going to go into here but I found out all about it about 5 minutes after leaving his grave. To…
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  • Bare is the back.
    March 15, 2009
    Growing up I never had the best friend at school like most kids did. I mean I had a ready made best friend at home. My brother and I where only 16 months apart. We might as well have been twins. We where like night and day. I mean I was the fat kid that…
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  • He’s Dead Jim.
    March 12, 2009
    Its been almost a month since I last wrote in this diary. I needed time away. I needed time to make it real that my brother was dead. I am an atheist and as such do not believe in an after life. That was the part that was really killing me. Believeing and knowing I will never ...
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  • To mike
    February 15, 2009
    Hey Kido. I have thought a bit on what that note said and I am still kind of lost. Maybe it would help if I tried to walk away for a lil bit. I dont know. This would be the type of thing I would talk over with you before makeing any kind of decision.…
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  • To Mike
    February 14, 2009
    I got this note on a letter I sent to you: Hadeswpb: you seem to love your brother Alot, but you seem to be missing something very important. He is Gone, and you are hanging onto him not letting him rest in Peace you are tearing yourself up, and you are keeping yourself from healing.…
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