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Numb

April 2, 2025
That is how I've been feeling.  Just numb to anyone or anything that is going on around me.  I am still just dealing.  Due to my lack of sleep and immense depression,  I did go to the doctor.  I had labs drawn.she prescribed me some medication for sleep.  Also, a call to the social worker…
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Recent Entries

  • Got out of the house
    March 23, 2025
    I went to one of the niece's bridal shower today.  I went to get out of the house.  You know who I'm talking about, Mom.  It was fun, but still thought about you a lot.  On the back of her schedule for her wedding she had a"In memory of" those who could not be there. …
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  • Mid-Day/early evening.
    March 19, 2025
    I did it, Mom.  I went over there and got all of the rest done.  Of course, there were a few other things there that I had forgotten.  But, it's done.  I was crying as I walked out.  Got an exasperated look from the niece.  I tried to stop the tears and couldn't.  She got…
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  • Just my luck
    March 18, 2025
    I am already having to live with the sister.  Not bad.  Can tolerate.   My niece and grand niece live here, also.  It is the egotistical,  narcissistic,  Mr. Know it all husband of the niece I'm having a hard time tolerating.  I will just have to.  I live very well in my room.  I am just…
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  • Dragging my feet.
    March 18, 2025
    I only have two things left in that house, now.  Two.  That's it.  It is literally 2 minutes from her to go there and get them.  2 things.  2 minutes .  I feel like I'm stuck here for 2 long. I am dragging my feet way too much.  I've kept the land lady updated every…
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  • Well, that was a trip.
    March 17, 2025
    Yesterday, we were cleaning out the rest of the stuff from our home.  Slowly, but surely, getting there.  So hard for me to think about it.  And you not being here.  Oh, it's so hard.  I miss you tremendously.  I do know you are there.  Everywhere.  I hear your words, advice, your motherly love e...
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  • Time for bed.
    March 16, 2025
    It is that time, again.  Time for me to try to get some sleep.  I just took the crap ton of pills that sometimes help me do that, now.  No guarantee.   Believe me, Mom.  It is so hard getting up in the middle of the night, not only not in our house, but not having…
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  • Home.
    March 15, 2025
    Today, I brought you home.  What's left of you.  I did it your way, Mom, even though you knew how I felt about that.   I also know how you felt.  I stopped crying long enough to look normal to the sister and everyone.   Now, I am in my room, so no need.  I will grieve…
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  • Dear Mom
    March 15, 2025
    I'm hurting so bad.  I cannot even stop this hurt.  I miss you, Mom, so so so much.  I'm cleaning te rest of the house out tomorrow.   I know you will be with me.  Having to move in with the sister.  I never wanted to be in that situation again. I just want you back. …
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