Recent Entries

• Joyride

  July 23, 2025

  I like to take a drive at night here and there. It gives me clarity. Nothing special, no destination. Sometimes I bring a few drinks with me (I know *gasp* drinking and driving). I sit at the parks along the river where Lake Erie passes through. I smoke and have some drinks, listen to nostalgic&h...

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• Coping

  July 13, 2025

  I've been through a lot this last year and a half. I started a job that ended up depleting my confidence where I worked long hours for zero reward, began a Master's Program that has added more stress which made me question my career choice, had intense relationship issues that caused me to consid...

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• Another day, Another crying spell

  June 20, 2025

  Today has been another rough one. My older sister officially eliminated me from her life. I have been increasingly depressed. I attempted suicide approximately 8 months ago. I told her and, despite her promises not to, she told my husband and best friend. From my perspective, this ruined my relat...

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• A Love Note to Depression.

  June 17, 2025

  All I can think about is the fact that no matter what I do, I am not enough. I have struggled so much these last 6-8 months. I have been so terribly depressed. The worst part is when you admit to it. I'm sick of seeing these stupid TikTok/FB etc trends of "mental health education" when…

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• Tell Me How to Fix This

  June 14, 2025

  I want to go back. Back to the love we once had. When you used to hold me close, hands clasped together; you gently kissing mine at random. I want to go back to when you would look at me. And I would ask why. You would say, "can't I just look at you"? You…

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• Guide to Alleviate Severe Depression

  June 11, 2025

  Firstly, refuse to accept the reality that you are not okay. Continue chugging along as though life is grand and balance as many plates as you possibly can hold while maintaining a smile (make that smile look real!). Next, have a series of breakdowns. These must consist of: crying spells in your ...

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• It’s still early

  June 2, 2025

  It's nearly 2pm. But it's still early. For me, anyway. I've always been a night owl. I was getting better with it. If I stayed up too late, I would get the cold shoulder and he would use that in a future argument. I got better at going to bed before he fell asleep but…

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• Guide to being the perfect wife

  June 2, 2025

  Here are 12 important rules: 1. Don't speak your opinion. He doesn't want to hear your side. 2. Agree with whatever he says. Even if he is hurting your feelings. Even if he is wrong. 3. Do not stay up too late or sleep in to late. He doesn't like that. He just doesn't. 4.…

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• “Love”?

  May 5, 2025

  It's been quite a while since I have written. So much has happened. I fell into a deep depression. My anxiety became heightened and I was less of a mother and less of a wife than I should have been. I took a trip. I went to MO to be with my cousin, Jessica. She…

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