Recent Entries

• Back on OD – Happy New Year

  December 31, 2013

   I cannot believe it has been so long since I have been on OD and my diary is still here. I wrote in it consistently from 2005 - 2006, really when my eating disorder was developing and becoming very strong. Then I didn't write in it until one random entry in 2012. And now I…

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• I’m back on OD

  January 8, 2012

  HT: 5' 6" CW: 130.0 lbs GW: 115.0 lbs I cannot believe I found this diary still here and intact after not using it for 6 years! So much has changed.  I really don't know where to start this, but it feels good to be able to journal again so openly and know that I…

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• Quick Update

  September 27, 2006

  CW: 97 lbs BMI: 15.7 (?) A very quick update on what's been happening the past few days in my life.  The decision has been made for me to go away to a facility for ED's. Except for a few panic attacks, I have been very numb and detatched from it all and I prefer…

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• Decisions to be Made

  September 24, 2006

  CW: 97.5 lbs BMI: 15.7 Ok, wow.  There is a lot to say, but I don't know how much I'll go into right now.  I came home for the weekend as you all know to discuss things with my therapist and my psychiatrist. I had a 2 hour session with my therapist and at the…

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• I stole this survey

  September 20, 2006

  1) Time now:  4:45pm2) Name as it appears on birth certificate: Rachel Frances3) Nicknames: Rai4) Piercing: ears, just 1 hole each5) What is the most recent movie you've seen in the theater? The Last Kiss6) Eye color:  Hazel7) Place of birth:  Long Island, New York8) Favorite Food:...

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• How did it come to this?

  September 20, 2006

  *Just a warning, this entry will probably all over the place because my head is just exploding with thoughts!CW: 45.2 kg / 99.6 lbsBMI: 16.0Wow, where do I even begin? Positives first:  I was able to eat breakfast today and made it to both my classes (barely) and went to see my nutritionist....

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• A bad day is…

  September 19, 2006

  CW: 99.2 lbs / 45 kgBMI: 16.0A bad day is...when you realize at the moment you woke up that you shouldn't have gotten out of bed.when you have no ability to focus on anything except the hope for a bingewhen you spend $30 on binge foodwhen you b/p 3 timeswhen you become afraid to eatwhen…

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• Sleep disrupted +anxious edit+

  September 18, 2006

  Purge free: 5 daysI was jarred awake at around 1:30am last night.  I was in such a deep sleep, that I was convinced it was my alarm, but it made no sense because it was completely dark outside.  It took a while to realize that it was my phone.  I was shocked I was able…

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• numb & exhausted

  September 18, 2006

  CW: 45.4 kg / 100 lbsBMI: 16.1b/p - 3Well the string of purge free days has been broken, but I'm not upset.  I'm not really anything.  I'm just numb and exhausted.  My throat is sore and my glands are swollen, BUT my chest does NOT hurt.  i've gotta look at the positives I gue...

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