big dreams. little town. bad times.

SHE and I pretty much know we’re going to get married.

she’s getting a diploma this december. this january she starts her masters. i am in school online going to be a Pastor. meanwhile I AM a youth pastor, I filll pepsi, and i work at a local grocery store. all three jobs pay. and most of the money goes to my car-bill, my phone-bill, and then the groceries i help out with at the house (I still live at home with my parents).. oh, and gas is a given for money also.

somebody comes in the grocery store tonight (an acquaintance of mine whom i haven’t seen in awhile), flat out tells me, "yeah so i’m making about 5K a month."

WHAT.

one job. five thousand a month. he’s a little older than me with no better education.

five thousand a month? i could pay my car off in one month. buy a brand new dodge dakota in half a year if i wanted to.. or have 60 K in one year! nice down payment on a house for the wife.

work one job – yes, sell myself too it – live at the man-camps, work in the oil fields, but have a pay off in the end, or work 3 jobs, have to deal with 3 bosses, (okay kind of more like two, me and my Pastor at the church are pretty good friends), and get paid less combined than that one job there – and barely make do with no hope of saving up until i pay my car off.
 

down falls.

i’d leave her, and long distance relationship? haha.. something you want to avoid if you can
i’d leave the church, for a youth pastor, for anyone in ministry (ask them) it’s hard to view pastoring like a job "I tried, wasn’t for me."
i’d leave my hometown, although most of my buddies already left me anyways, but i’m a family guy.

as planned. i come home tonight, and lay it on my mom – this epic idea… it gets shot down like bin laden in a NAVY SEAL raid. seriously. okay. it didn’t bug me at all, because it was the same things i was saying,
 
‘that’s far away.
you’ll be by yourself.
can you be without her that long?’

big dreams.
little towns do that to you.
especially in bad times.