‘evolution becomes revolution.’

i saw ‘rise of the planet of the apes’ tonight (well i guess its last night when i’m writing this):::::….

interesting. nothing to write home about. got me kind of interested in the science fiction of evolution. yeah yeah. documents. scientists. fancy fossil records. don’t want to get into the big argument about evolution – but there’s more than enough compelling evidence for me presented by the scientific community as well for me to not be sold out to evolution – in fact there’s a document circulating in the scientific community where people are signing off saying that they’re not sold out to evolution anymore.

but the fact that we’re even able to, as humans, have cognitive reasoning to speculate on things such as this kind of tells me its impossible for us to randomly all the sudden even ‘get spiritual’.

speaking of spiritual

i hate porn. i hate being controlled by it. i messed up again. for those of you non-Christian, or those of you who don’t think anything is wrong with porn or masturbating, this isn’t for you – nor will you find sympathy for me in this. (and PS i don’t need to hear you trying to tell me it’s okay, and that i’m narrow-minded, don’t worry, i know there are people out there who think that, i’m not deaf to you, i’m just ignorant, so lat me be) i was going good too. i just put me in a situation i know i shouldn’t have been – and that is, it being late at night, and i being on the computer.
 

it started off really as trying to match what this new movie (apes) is and how it fits into the older movies. because the only apes movies i’ve seen have been about apes controlling a distant planet, and with this one being about apes on earth taking over, it threw me for a loop. so i had to research about it. before i knew it, it was late, and i was tired, and my defenses were down… plus the ‘anatomy’ pictures i came across of live nude people didn’t help. those images in my mind – before i knew it… ugh.

i don’t want to take any of you down about the guilt and what-not that goes through my mind…

but something helped. as i was closing out my tab, i must’ve accidentally hit a bookmark, and a website popped up, and something being advertised said, "God recycles, He made you out of dust…’

it kind of put things into more peace, in an odd way i guess.

yeah i’m guilty, yeah i want forgiveness, and yeah i want to end this sexual sin.

but the truth is, is that i’m made from dust, and so often do i need to tell myself as big as a sin sexual sin can be, it’s so so so so small to God. and He truly can take care of it, if i can keep on giving it too him. if i can brush the dirt off my shoulders, reset the timer to day 0, and trudge on. meanwhile God knows how to pray for me and what to say… if you have a Bible Romans 8:26-27, or as The Message says::

////// Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. ////

days of sexual purity – 0