George Gets Married

  George and Dorrie’s wedding was right around the corner. Of course a few days before the wedding we may or may not have had a bachelor party for him. So this story that follows is purely hypothetical.

  Unlike Don’s bachelor party, this one felt less dirty. We still had exotic dancers, but we hosted it at Fiddler’s Green and they came from a reputable agency. There were two of them and one of them was Miss Hawaii 1995 or something like that, at least that is what her business card said. She had a business card, which already put her in a higher stature than the ones at Don’s… event.

It started with a video compilation I created showing clips of George meant to embarrass him. It was great how Sean mentioned, “How come every clip embarrassing George has me in it as well?” It just worked that way… Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! (Laughter purely an editorial device).

 Then the two girls came and put on quite a show. George and George’s brother were clearly uncomfortable, and Alan was gracious enough to ‘take a bullet for him’ like a true Marine. Our other resident Marine, Mark, was not as honorable. He tried taking photos of an event that should have no documented evidence. Even now as I write this I am short on details to protect the innocent and the guilty, mostly the guilty. When Mark was distracted, Dan stole Mark’s disposable camera and destroyed it. All evidence of this event which we deny ever occurred was removed.

  After the ‘show’ a couple of us did shots with the exotic dancers and talked for a bit, and after they left we continued with our male bonding. When we were nice and toasted, I brought up my banner which was in the woods waiting for me. I organized a Posse to retrieve it. This time Jay wanted no part of it, and honestly without him it was the blind leading the blind. We went anyway. I managed to get us to the point where it should have been, but alas, it was gone. It was probably a good thing because I’d never have gotten it on a plane.

  George’s and Dorrie’s wedding was going to be one of those full Catholic Wedding. I was given the responsibility to do something with a candle and bring up the wafers to the front of the church along with one of George’s cousins. Naturally I screwed it up by fumbling with the candle, though no one noticed but George’s cousin and me. Overall, it was a nice ceremony and it signified the first of my high school friends to ‘grow up’. Yes, Don got married earlier, but it was because of pregnancy and he didn’t go to my school, so he was more of a college friend.

  To save money, George had assigned most of us dates. Erin was ‘assigned’ to me, but Deana wanted to go, so Deana ended up being my date. Erin ended up getting her own invite, and Paul, who claimed was bringing a date, was not going to, so we assigned our friend Kat to be Paul’s unofficial date. We had a fantastic time all around!

  Meanwhile, all this time I was working back at J.C.Penney’s and sending money back to Chrissy for all the bills and extra money for her to use. I would chat with her over AOL to see how she was holding up because I did worry about her. She had found a job working at a Motophoto, so she was bringing in money herself as well. That made me feel a little bit happier to know. At least until one day I tried calling her and the line announced that the number I am trying to reach is no longer in service. When I finally got a hold of her she informed me she didn’t pay the phone bill which was in my name. I was so glad that she paid the rent. I was mad as it was, but what I would learn later is that my credit card companies would use that delinquency as just cause to raise the interest rate on my open balances to 32%. That was something I wasn’t going to find out for a month or so, so right now I was content to know that her having to go to the library to chat with her boyfriend would at least be some sort of punishment for being irresponsible.


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April 9, 2012

kerry…i don’t like these dirty things that you’re up to!