I mean, it could be worse

Most of the things on my list of things bothering me are things that are happening to other people.

For example, three of my friends have cancer. One of them has terminal brain cancer. The third friend was just diagnosed last week. This came after having to flee her house in Altadena in January because of the fires. Her house survived and that was the beginning of a huge battle with insurance and restoration contractors. Good news: your house survived, bad news: it’s an uninhabitable toxic stew that will take years to restore. My complaint here is bad things are happening to my friends.

Then there’s war and starvation. Fresh new exciting war in Thailand v Cambodia. Wish we had a state department to help tamp that kind of shit down. My complaint here is it sucks to watch the government be bad at its job.

My tenant told me yesterday that he’s moving out. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand he was kind of high maintenance and likes to run the AC 24/7. On the other hand, now I have to find a new renter right as the school year is starting – the busiest time of year for me. So my complaint here is that I have a profitable rental property and I’ll have to show it to prospective renters.

I got troubles with some of the students at the grad school where I teach. One is a case of entitlement and insulting assumptions. The other is a case of people who are old enough to know better but still doing things that are bad enough that I am contractually forbidden from even alluding to what happened. This bit of cryptic language is in here just so if I read this sometime later, it will remind me of unwanted hugs.

I went to a birthday party last night and the birthday boy spent about 20 minutes depressing me with some recent observations. He was in Berlin last week and saw young men openly sieg heiling a group of Syrian refugees to taunt them. This gesture is actually illegal in Germany but they feel empowered enough to do this in public.

He also told me that he expects the newly expanded ICE agency to be a popular job opportunity for the kind of young men who heretofore would shoot up an elementary school or grocery store. Why wouldn’t someone who wanted to be a mass murderer join an agency for state-sponsored mass murder? I have to admit, he has a good point. Anyhow, it was very depressing birthday talk.

Then another friend of mine told me she’s turning 60 in a month and she’s been overwhelmed with the realization that the best-case-scenario for her life is to live long enough to see everyone she loves die. My husband is going to be 60 in 2 years and I’ll be 60 in 4 years (FOUR YEARS!) which seems insane but whatever. My doctor estimates that I will live to be 104 so I have 48 years remaining. I wonder what 2073 will be like. I bet it will be great!

I just finished reading Abundance, which I quite liked. There are a lot of smart points in there about how we fail to have a future because we no longer dream of a better future. This is a social sciences book – which has been my go-to lately for trying to make sense of the world.

I’m off to Florida later tonight – that’s also weighing on me. Not a fan.

Anything else? Oh, I supposedly got a raise but my take home pay hasn’t changed. I can’t wait to go into payroll and have them explain that to me.

Voila, I’m done complaining.

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