Top Ten Reasons Why the Bimbo is Great

10. She’s devoutly christian yet she goes to sleep in skimpy night gowns.

9. She refuses to admit her hair is greying and refers to it as her “natural frost”.

8. After leaving my bike out in the elements for over a year she decides to bring it in her apartment to prevent it from rusting.

7. Whenever my neice or my nephews are around she tells them all the things that I need to do in a baby voice completely ignoring my existence.

6. She doesn’t know what clubbing is.

5. She tells me she’ll “pray” for me whenever I talk to her.

4. She refuses to admit she’s racist. Her: The UPS guy was hitting on me. Me: Was he cute? Her: He’s black.

3. I refused to listen to her christian radio station and she had a tantrum and got huffy.

2. In her diary (don’t ask how I know this) she refers to god as her daddy.

1. She called me up the other day and told me she has ringworm.

BTW in case anyone was wondering, the Bimbo is my mom!

~The Black Mage stirs