Confusion and Second Best

Is it time to let him go? Everything that has common sense inside of me screams yes. Why am I putting myself though all of this when I really don’t need to. Common sense tells you when a hot stove burns your hand, pull your hand away. Its just common sense. He’s burning me, he’s hurting me and so why can’t I just let him go? Why can’t I just say to hell with you, I’m moving on? I don’t know why, but I don’t think I can. He still has my heart, literally and figuratively.
And I’m starting to realize that I’m making Manny like second best. If I can’t have Tim, I’ll settle for Manny. But its not like that. But that’s how it seems and I don’t know if Manny is thinking that. I don’t care what others think as long as he doesn’t think that. But on the other hand…..
John is right. If I have any feelings left for Tim I have no business being with Manny. And he’s really right. How can I even do that? But I want to let go of Tim. He hasn’t called and I don’t know why. Is it because he doesn’t want me to need him? I don’t know. Does he just not want to talk to me? I don’t know that either. I just wish I did know one way or another. I want to know what is concrete and what is still up in the air. There’s another thing that’s bothering me. Why is this so important to me? Why do I have this drive to know NOW what I should do? Brian’s right on that. I should just let it go and not worry about it. But I can’t do that! I have this need to know. Is it because of the question I asked Manny that got all this started? And what’s so wrong with wanting to move on and figure out what’s gonna happen? Ooooooo and now I’m getting a headache and its all so confusing. And I’m lost and shaking and I don’t know what to do.