Square Pegs, Round Holes and Boxes
Ive figured it all out. Yah I keep saying that but I really have! Im trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole and its edges are hurting me. AH! How do I make him understand about my box? Hes trying to fight his way in and I dont want him in here. And he brought in Settle. Settle has his own problems and I cant force my stupid problems on him. Thats just not fair to him. And Manny had no right to bring him up.
Besides Settle is right. Why is this such a big deal now? I guess I really dont know. Why cant I just let it rest and let it go? I dont know, but I just cant. And Manny is saying so many things that Tim once said to me. The most painful one is Im not like them. Trust me. I can remember sitting in my kitchen on the counter and Tim leaning against the counter and looking my square in the eyes. Im not them. Trust me. And his promise not to hurt me. I can hear his voice and see his face. And somehow Manny is repeating every word and even every nuance and every emphasis is exactly alike. Ooooo!! Thats what makes me cry because he saying everything Ive already heard. And I know it is someone else saying it, but all I hear is Tims voice and all I see is his face. And all I feel is pain. And thats not fair to Manny because he isnt Tim. GRRRR!!!
I want my safe little box where only music and my girlfriends can fit. Go away world!! Everything else just leave me alone!!