It’s the way that he makes you feel…

We’re not speaking of last night. Not talking about the after effects. Not bringing it up. Don’t want to.

Today sucked… We had a tornado warning and I had to cram myself in a tiny bathroom with five other children while one was freaking out and clinging to me for dear life because she was so scared. I was dying of heat. I still am. I dislike it…

I have to do my ab workout today, and I don’t even want to. I’m in so much pain right now. Like seriously. I want to rip my stomach out…

Woke up late this morning, so that was super great to start out my day with.

John is still perfect. Still amazing. Still all I need. I’m still not used to it. Still scared. Still guilt tripping myself for everything that I have ever done to hurt him. I’m caught up in my depression again. I’m not enjoying it. I’m not happy with it. I just want it to go the fuck away…

Thursday tomorrow. Field trip to Bobs park tomorrow with my kids. That should be fun.

Going swimming this Friday. Hopefully the weather stays nice.

Not entirely sure what’s happening with this weekend. Tattoo appointment at one on Saturday. Probably going to make another appointment for sometime next week to get more work and hopefully have John and Tori come with me to that one. I want them there when I get tattooed. It’s always more fun when you have someone there to laugh with…

I just want it to be the weekend. I fucking miss John… It’s ripping me apart…

<3CaseyRenee<3