Haze

UGH.

I don’t know what the hell to think right now.

Ok, so he just called me and I calmly and respectfully CHEWED HIS MOTHERFUCKING ASS OUT.

I don’t know what to say about the conversation. He did the “yes, i agree, i messed up, i’m sorry, blah blah, didn’t do it on purpose, blah blah blah, unintelligible exscuses layered like a bean dip topped with a cherry and whipped cream… and hot fudge!”

Now this usually pacifies me and I’m ready to get beyond it. But not today. And he knows it. I told him that he seriously hurt me and I have very strong  and serious doubts about things. And  he just mumbled that he’s gonna come over today and blah blah blah.

If that works out, you’ll be able to hear me scream across the damn country.

I am in a state of total disbelief in anything right now. I’m numb to the point of actually FEELING the numbness in my core.

We have much to talk about and we’ll see how it plays out. Right now I’m just… in a haze.

Nothing makes sense.

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Honestly I can’t believe he is skrewing this up so soon. Because you are still at the point where you can tell immigration that he is using you and they won’t legalize him. So he must not be all that smart. Whatever you do, just please don’t give him any money. PLEASE! And please don’t get mad at me for giving advice. You can just ignore me. You know that.

Guys have such a graceful way of apologizing for screwing up… I think you need a good old fashioned ass kissing.

April 21, 2004

🙁

April 21, 2004

I am so familiar with the whole “I’m sorry, I will change, blah blah blah thing” thanks to Shawn. Now, I doubt I will ever believe someone else’s promises. I hope it gets better. *hugs*

I think you should chew his hiney out and give him a good spanking..or hell make him give you a good spankin’ 😉 Ok sorry had to do the perv joke route..these conversation classes at work are KILLING me..BORING! Ok talk it out..beat him up..and then tell him to do you like a wild animal!

April 21, 2004

*hugs* I love you chicka. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that all of us at OD love you and support you. AND, we would all come running to kick him in the beanbag if you asked us to! 🙂 *mondo hugs*

you really are that strong and beautiful woman i could see coming about so long ago. i’m proud of you for sticking up for what you want. good luck with the talking tonight. *hugs*

MEN suck at times!!!!! *growls* Step up to the damn plate and be a husband and father for a change!!!!! Everything else aside. A husband and father are the two most important roles in a MAN’s life! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I feel the pain with ya! *hugs*

April 21, 2004

uh. hmmmm.

April 21, 2004

Stick up for yourself and for the boys. You can do it Monique. Don’t give in until he understands how wrongly he’s treating you. *HUGS*

April 21, 2004

good luck with it, and remember to stick your ground…that’s my only pseudo-advise for the day have a good one and take a deep breath it’s all gonna turn out in teh end. Ali

April 21, 2004

I’m sorry. It sucks that things are this screwy. Men do suck, even in the best of marriages. But I’m here for you if you need me. And if you need me to beat the crap out of him with some swift and blinding violence.

April 21, 2004

I’m sorry to hear that…. 🙁

April 21, 2004

Oh boy. My thoughts are with you. Let me know if you need anything. I’m praying that it all works out.

April 21, 2004

I’m so sorry 🙁

*hugs*

April 21, 2004

(((HUGS))) Shayla Rae ~:)

April 22, 2004

*more hugs* Here’s hoping everything goes well. ~

Oh crap, I hope it is his ego, and not deceit. Hispanic men do have the machismo going…I will think positive thoughts. The bottom line is does he love you? If he does, and your guts beleive, then it is worth the fight. Bottom line is, believe your wordless guts, guts have no words-no words, no lies, no rationalizations. My most loving advice,

April 23, 2004

I think all men are like that. I call mine, the “Man-Child.”

I dont pay attention for a while and I feel like so much has happened I cant possibly comment. Almost sounds like he is afraid of commitment, but he got married…so that sort of upsets that theory. Hope it all works out.

Hello there. 🙂 I know it has been awhile and I have a good excuse I swear it. First off, i’d like to congradulate you on your marriage. Woohoo!! Even if it’s a bit on the rough side now, i’m incredibly happy for you. *Hugs* Secondly, life is good on my end. I got my own place and i don’t have the internet to write or read as much as i’d like to.

Okie dokie… now if you could do me a favor. I don’t have a membership anymore so I can’t leave a note for your sister (Quirky in case that wasn’t obvious.) Please let her know that I said hi and that I sent her an e-mail. 🙂 Thank you so very much. I hope things are better now and stay better. Be well.

write another entry so i know you’re still alive, please. thank you.

Are you ok?!

April 27, 2004

can you give him an altimadeum? Say move into mine apt within 2 weeks or else? Would that work?

HELLO? Where are YOU? Is all okay with you? *hugs*

April 27, 2004

I miss your updates! I must know what is going on?? *thinks back to her soap opera days* DOH! I am such a loser!

April 27, 2004

At least you told him how you feel. That’s a big step toward feeling better about everything. And if it’s not, I promise it will be a load off of your shoulders. Don’t worry; things will be as they will be, and you can’t change that. *hugs*

again you leave us hanging!

April 28, 2004

Where in the heck are you? Maybe I should call or you call me? Or just let me know you are okay.

April 29, 2004

*still waiting for you* *hugs* I hope all is alright…

just stopping in to say hello…

Hey chica, you haven’t been around in awhile so I wanted to say hi!!

May 3, 2004

I hope all is well with you. I haven’t heard from you in awhile. *massive hugs* *loves* ~

May 4, 2004

Ok where are you?

Hmm, I’m getting worried about you……. Hope to hear from you soon. :Hugs:

Are you ok? We are all worried about you. Please let us know you are alright. We love you! *hugs*

May 5, 2004

where are you? what happening… i miss you… are you ok?? what is happppppeeeennnning??

May 5, 2004

*HUGS* I hope everything is OK… please let us know soon!

COME BACK MONIQUE!!!

hey! *poke* where’d you go? what’s going on? hope you’re ok!

May 7, 2004

?? hope all is well

May 8, 2004

remember the show where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? don’t know if its still on air. but WHERE IN THE WORLD IS mONIQUE?”

May 8, 2004

Hey – I had a dream about you last night – (yes I know I need to get out more!) – in my dream you had 11 children! My dream prompted me to drop in & note you. Anyway, you’ve gone from several entries per day to none…and I hope you’re okay. We all do.

May 9, 2004

Happy Mothers Day! I really hope everything is okay.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I hope you had a great Mother’s Day! =) We all miss you and are worried about you. Please, just update to let us know you’re okay.

Happy Mother’s Day!

May 11, 2004

I miss you 🙁

Where the F*CK are you?!

May 11, 2004

hey, hun, you gotta give us a sign that you are OK. there are too many of us out here wondering. i hope and pray that things are fine. (((HUGGLES)))

May 11, 2004

hmm…. worried… where did ya go?

WE MISS YOU COME BACK PLLLLLEASE <3 Annie-Rae

May 12, 2004

WHERE ARE YOU?????????

Girl, UPDATE us and tell us you are ok. WE MISS YOU!

where are you??? …i hope chaos hasn’t come to play for too long…

crazy girl WHERE IN SAM HELL ARE YOU?

May 13, 2004

Are you still okay?