I messed up. =(
Ya know, getting greeted with bad news when you come in to work just makes your whole day go to hell.
I came in and learned that the city is now going into a Hard Freeze. That is different than the “Soft Freeze” we are in right now. It has to do with hiring.
And without being too complicated and boring…
Before they were allowed to hire promotionally, as long as the positions were approved by the city council. These were usually emergency based hires and that is what I was getting interview notices for.
Now, there will be no hiring whatsoever. In essence, everyone is stuck where they are, unless they recieved certifications before yesterday, and if you leave the city, most (probably not all, i mean if they ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO fill a position, they probably will just transfer someone…) of those positions will remain vacant until they can lift the freeze.
I am devastated. I just recently recieved 2 certifications. I lost one. I wanted to call it, but when I went on my “find the social security card” rampage, it got lost in the explosion… and I lost it. I figured I’d be ok, cuz the LAPD job was still something that might happen and maybe if nobody responded they’d re-certify it. I also got one for the office of finance (my office has been telling me horror stories about it, but right now, I can’t be choosy… *sigh*) that I’m going to call today for sure.
but I’m not sure if they are going to interview now.
and i probably won’t be qualified enough for a position dealing with numbers and money. I suck at math. I know I do. I don’t want to take a math oriented job and totally suck ass and get demoted. that would be horrible and I’d really get depressed. I’ll have to ask what it’s all about, but if it’s what my co-workers are telling me, i’ll be in trouble for sure.
So basically I feel trapped. I mean, right now, I’m getting my bonus (which is SAVING MY ASS, especially since my rent is going up), and I know I can get by (also, finding a new insurance provider who won’t charge me up the ass would be nice)… but I want to be comfortable. I don’t want to feel nervous about getting by month to month. I want to be able to save money. As it is, the money I thought I’d be able to save, won’t be saved.I have to get my car fixed… there it all goes.
And that’s my fault. I’m the one who didn’t think when I went into Target and Wal Mart and just bought things. I could have had the 500 dollars to save if I shopped NORMALLY… but I didn’t, becaus I knew I’d have this big paycheck.
and I fucked up.
I fucked up royally.
and now i continue to fuck up.
and i feel really weak and lonely and FUCKED.
*sigh*
I hope nobody reads this entry.
Yeah we’ve all done that before. The situation will get better, just be patient. And never make that mistake again. Try to save a little. I am going through the same thing. So I feel your pain.
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I’m sorry, girlfriend!!!! ::Big Hugs::
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We have. We’ve all done it. We think we’re ahead and then we somehow end up behind. It’ll be all right. *hugs* ~
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Sorry! RYN: Check out my latest entry. I posted the link that works. Sorry for the first mess up!
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i don’t get how you figure YOU f’ed up though…
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HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG
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I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL I DO THAT EVERYDAY, THINKING I HAVE MONEY (WHICH I DON’T) AND THEN SENDING NEXTS WEEK CHECK BEFORE I EVEN GET IT
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=(
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*Hugs* Money sucks doesn’t it? I’m sorry to hear you have to go through this. I wish I could help but i’m in a similiar boat. The only thing I can do is offer to try and make you smile sometimes. 🙂 Be well. Ryn: It sure did look that way but it’s not a goodbye entry. It’s the marking of change. The old me is gone. Enter the new me that slightly resembles the old me. 😉
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Girl, I don’t know how you do it as it is. I barely get by, and my bills all put together are just barely more than your rent alone! I sometimes run so tight that I have to write checks for gas to places that I know won’t get them turned in very quick, so that maybe they won’t bounce before my next paycheck. =(
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I’ve done it too, in fact – right before this fire I was *just barely* getting back to where things needed to be, and then we were evacuated and when we came home we couldnt cook, everything was spoiled, it was awful. Things just happen and you work through them. I just really need to learn to wait until we have a really big buffer before we stop being ‘safe’. Thinking of you…
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🙁 *hugs*
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I’m so sorry girl!! I don’t think that you f-ed up at all. Maybe the job with the Finance dept isn’t as math oriented as you might think?? You are a very smart lady–I’m sure you could do it!!
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I don’t see how people can live in areas like that 🙁 My dad makes over $11 an hour and that’s plenty for us, but the cost of living is soooo much lower, I’ve got a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom HOUSE and the mortgage is $190 per month…I can’t imagine having to pay what everyone else does, it’s horrible 🙁 Good luck and big huge hugs.
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girl, stop copying off me. seriously. i whine about money, then you whine about money… 😉 it’ll be ok, babe, i know it will. *hugs*
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Oops, sorry…you should have said you didn’t want us to read it at the BEGINNING of the entry! 🙂 Oh honey, we all do stuff like this. It’s not your fault, there is nothing you could have done. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Take care of yourself.
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this kind of crap is happening all over in government work. i work for the county and on top of layoffs and bumping, they want to give us a new contract with 0% raise and take away my medical benefits…..grrrrr…i’ve only worked here for 13 years…grrrr… but i try to remember how lucky i am…lots of people are out of work right now and have nothing… hope it gets better for you hon! hug
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