stupid dreams

 

 

 

 

It’s Friday! I should be dancing the dance!

but I’m not. Nope.

Not even remotely in the mood.

so last night, after the work out and things, "him" and I talked for a little bit.

blah blah blah, nothing substantial. I really wanted to talk about something with him, but, it involved emotions and since I’m boycotting sharing those with him right now I let it be.

Anyway, I know what time it is. FLAVA FLAV!

So then I went to bed cuz I was really tired. I don’t know why. I blame my period that needs to hurry up and come. It’s due any day now. I just want it to come. I hate waiting for it and having to rush to the bathroom everytime I think it might be there. JUST HAPPEN. Stupid.

So I had the weirdest and most disturbing dream.

I was able to go into my computer and I was on Myspace. I noticed that W (Jonathons father) had written a blog. It was all about him and his girlfriend or wife, I can’t remember what she was, and how they had a son and how she miscarried but he was finally getting another child. And how happy he was to have his kids. and blah blah blah.

It enraged me, you see, because he refuses to acknowledge Jonathon. So I was like THAT’S IT! I’M GOING FOR CHILD SUPPORT!

I ran around Myspace some more and saw a bunch of my friends talking bad about me on their blogs and it made me really sad. I decided I was hungry and was going to go get some pizza.

So I got into my little burnt orange VW Beetle (ha) and drove down this cobblestone road to this like old style village place with a pizza parlor. there was this giant greasy fat man behind the counter who took my order. I wanted the biggest pizza they had with the works. I didn’t want mushrooms for some reason. He said "You want everything on that, even soda?" and I was like "YEAH! even soda! just no orange or rootbeer" or something like that. So he starts putting all the toppings on and then pours coca cola on it and stuff. Then he takes a piece of the raw pizza and eats it.

I was like "hey! that’s mine! you better replace it!" so he puts a piece of already cooked pizza in the empty space and goes back to bake it.

 

and I think i woke up or something.

but i woke up all upset. mainly about the W thing. I think my brain wants me to go after him for child support. I keep putting it off cuz i feel this sadness about that whole ordeal. But he doesn’t. Especially since he DOES have a picture of him with some little boy on his myspace (in real life) and acts like he loves kids and can’t even contact me to ask about his own child who will be 7 years old and he’s never even seen him.

 

blah.

my neck still hurts.