things i’ve been up to

 Things

I have been doing to cope with my grief:

*Playing abundant amounts of the Sims 3. My longest game was yesterday (I tend to switch between families cuz I get bored) where I created a politician and his hot chef wife (I discovered the joys of downloading from the exchange and I got a BUNCH of new outfits and hairstyles for free! woo!). The politician is a cad and has made girlfirends of 10 out of his 20 friends. He also impregnated two of them.

One of his daughters is a mutant alien. I kid you not. The game glitched BIG time and now his daughter has giant legs growing out of her head and no body. She sorta looks like a spider. I went to visit her cuz the avatar pic just showed a giant leg, I was like, what is wrong with this kid? And as I walked up to the door (before the family let me in) I saw this HORRIFIC shape passing the window. I freaked out when I went inside and there’s legs (and a set of titties) in a weird shape over a cute little girls face.

Oops! See what happens when you sleep around senator!!!!

Anyway… I took a pic and I’ll share it. I might have to stop playing cuz it depresses me. She’ll grow up to look like an alien and if she reproduces (which the game does automatically if you’re not actively playing the characters) the town will start a whole line of strange spider mutant people.

Wait… that might be cool… maybe I’ll keep playing.

Also, he was cheating with the maid and his son from his actual wife saw it and he hates him now. So the politician has a son who considers him an enemy and they just run around the house fighting whenever they are in the same room. It’s interesting.

I also made a vegetarian eco friendly activist green machine, a giant slutty slut with committment issues, and an adventurer who loves to eat and try to bed locals in france, egypt, and china.

yeah… so what if I am crazy. I’m officially addicted again. It can go nowhere good since the next expansion pack sounds totally amazing.

*I’ve been watching copious amounts of instant streaming netflix 30 Rock. I never knew what that show was about. For some reason, I thought it was a drama. Don’t ask me. I always steered clear of it. Now it’s my favorite thing ever, I want to go to there, blerg! and all the rest. Yeah. I’m on season 3 and I have gut wrench guffaw laughter for every show. I want a lemon fan t-shirt. Tracy morgan is a nut. I love Kenneth and I want to have his babies.

make it happen.

*I’ve been cooking things. Yeah, not a lot, but cooking. I didn’t think I’d be able to make myself cook. But I have been. I like to cook. I made a delicious stir fry amongst other things. yummo.

*Missing my kids. They went to stay with my parents on Saturday. I miss them. I shall call them tonight.

I had one night where I couldn’t sleep because all I could think about was my aunt on an autopsy table getting cut into. I woke up every 5 minutes and the next day I felt like I had been run over by a truck.

It’s all uphill from there. I hope.

I keep waiting for another crazy.

It’ll probably happen Saturday, that’s when the actual funeral is going to be held. It’s long, from 3 to 7, and they are doing it at a house, her house… where she died.

I don’t quite understand the logic there. But ok, fine.

I’ll probaby cry a lot.

I’m putting an entire box of tissues in my purse.

Baboo is going to have to be really strong for me, but he’s been really awesome so far, so I know he will be exactly what I need.

I’m not looking forward to any of it.

On a brighter, yet murkey, note, my new schedule is in effect. I work from 7:30 to 4:00 now. that is changed from working 6:45 to 4:15.

I can manage I suppose.

on a dark blue and sad note: I still haven’t sent anything to the newspaper. I don’t have the money now. Ugh. So… maybe next week. Keep thy fingers crossed.

on a purple and pink note: i got a little sexins a day ago. no worries about having any "scares" because we were fully protected and I don’t think I was fertile. I don’t even care anymore. whatever. blah. it’ll probably be the only sex I get this month. I really  needed it, to feel close and secure and safe. I even felt noticeably better the next day. Oh well. stupid sexins.

on a yellowish note: my lunch today is cup of noodles and crackers. I had two slices of wheat bread with peanut butter for breakfast and I’m not hungry, so I might skip it. Shhhh, don’t say anything. I have slim fast snack bars if I truly get hungry later.

On a khaki tan note: only 5 hours of work left.

on a stormy note: gotta get back to work.

I’m slowly reading, but not noting everyone. So sowwy. I will do my best. 

I realize that I have an actual (and probalby serious) memory issue. I can’t remember things that I should. I use this diary so much, to figure out when things happened and all that jazz. I think it’s a short term memory thing. Anyway, I need to keep writing cuz I hate when there are gaps in time, I can’t remember what happened and its like the days just disappear.

I swear, I’ll read back to things just a few years ago and be like "oh yeah! I totally forgot I lived there!"

It’s sorta scary.

It even happens for things that happened less than a week ago.

sometimes, I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast a few hours after eating it.

eep.

that is all…

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  Last Words (A zombie apocalypsesurvival diary, for your reading pleasure and future knowledge when they take over the world. Yes, I am the author.)