Before The Assault

 So how am I doing. Inside I feel like shit. A witches cauldron. Bubbling inside with anger.hate.sadness and hurt. Ready to explode. Jumpy lately. Little things trigger me to remeber what happened but I refuse to let them in right now. I notice them and move on. I cannot afford to fall apart...

 this weekend I was raped by my ex bf. I  went to his house to hang out and i woke up to him raping me. I pushed him away and he drove me home. i was shocked as hell.he didnt use a condom so I went to the clinic today and just got back from…

     so i was bored and i thought i would show you a pic of my nails! i saw a girl on Teen Mom wearing her nails like this so I decided to go with the look as we!l!

its been awhile since I have wrote. just havent really felt much need or want. i am glad i have today off I have been really stressed out with work lately the hours have changed a bit and things are getting over whelming at work. it didnt help when a tenant of the building told…

 so i guess i had high hopes that my dr. would be educated on mental health since last time she seemed to understand. but she definately didnt. i almost laughed in her face when she is like have you seen girl interupted? like the pop culture reference is supposed to make it all clear. she&he...

 i guess i am a bit pissed off at some people in my life. one that makes me the most angry is some girl I just pretty much met. the more i think about it the more it makes me angrier. But I know really in hindsight its best to just let it go for…

so last night was a bust. the girls group I am part of had this bonfire party thing and it was originally for this other girls bday but the girl wanted to do a joint thing with me for my bday too so it was supposed to be for mine but it ended up being…

So apparently there was another earthquake here in Toronto.   Last year around this time we had one that I felt but this year I was in the shower so I didnt feel anything. It kind of scares me earthquakes sure they are kind of exciting and all but there is hardly much warning ...

 Related to the abuse when I was a kid. I shimmer I glimmer But all is not gold Since a young age  My soul has been sold Ill never be the same Filled up with so much shame Will take awhile to re learn my pre trauma worth I was born innocent Tainted now  But…

If You really knew me You would know that I am terrified of being alone Sometimes shady company seems better than Lying awake in this bed all cold Sometimes I wake up terrified The flashbacks of the past Comming back to bite me in the ass I feel so unsafe But what can I do? In the ...