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Finding meaning

Actions speak louder than words

feel my pulse
January 1, 2007
“Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.”J. Willard Marriott My friend Heather and I talked for the first time in about six months today, her brother (who is in my team) remembered to pass on a Christmas card from me to her, only this mornin...
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17

Burning honeysuckle oil during the predawn hours

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December 27, 2006
I am saving up to buy a new bed, one that doesn't sink in the middle (where the slats underneath subside towards the top and tail), and one that doesn't creak when I am horizontal folk dancing. Maybe then, I won't fall asleep watching the 7:30 report and wake up at midnight to spend my time&...
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4

A love of letters

feel my pulse
December 26, 2006
“There cannot be a sense of abundance or the experience of prosperity without appreciation. You cannot find beauty unless you appreciate beauty. You cannot find friendship unless you appreciate others. You cannot find love unless you appreciate loving and being loved. If you wish abundance,...
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6

How did I become so avoidant?

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December 8, 2006
My mum has told me that from the time I was a baby people would smile or talk to me and I would give them a look of contempt and look away. When I was a toddler I recall being in my pram and being taken outside into a large windstorm and feeling absolute panic.…
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8

5 year postscript – 12/4/2001

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December 6, 2006
I took my time getting ready for work this morning. I preened to my heart's content, and wore my little black dress with my two-tone pink suede shoes, and painted eyelashes. Ate my vitamin pill drank a coffee smoked a cigarette.   Again, I jumped a cab, Lebanese cab driver, talkative and goo...
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16

Protect, Gather, Nest

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December 2, 2006
Yesterday, I was supposed to take my little brother, that I volunteer with, to the Big Brother Big Sister Christmas Party. I was not looking forward to it. I don't get anxious about attending the volunteer meetings as they are generally structured, either some one speaks to the audience, or we br...
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22

What is it good for?

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November 20, 2006
I was dreaming that I was in the midst of war. I could hear a blend of English and another language being spoken. I was being tormented by someone pointing a gun to my head. I kept my eyes closed, silently begging them to shoot me and get it over with. I felt pure fear wondering…
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2

Sobering

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November 9, 2006
Three things to be thankful for: Study nearly over... I am 500 words into a 2000 word essay that is due on Saturday (my last for the year). I have broken through my procrastination and made a start. I have tomorrow night and Saturday morning to complete it. It may mean that I don't sleep…
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3

Reading my dreams?

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October 21, 2006
I recently won an award at work and was given a gift voucher of $99 to spend on a website that lets you choose an experience to have. There wasn't much available in this category, (the lowest price range to choose from), however, I found one thing that I haven't ever tried before, which was…
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7

Trilogy of ah-ha’s

feel my pulse
October 16, 2006
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.Albert Camus I am going to continue on from my theme of yesterday of writing about three things to be grateful about. 1. I went to see the…
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