Jokes & Funnies...

A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The rancher said, “okay, but don’t go into that field over there...” and he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent ve...

"Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up... ?" A woman asked her husband. "No," replied her husband. She gave him a lingering, sensuous smile, and slowly unbuttoned the top four buttons of her blouse. She slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra... and ...

RING. . . RING. . . CLICK! Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are a...

The other night I was invited out for a night with the “girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door,&h...

Did you hear about the nuclear scientist who swallowed some uranium? He got atomic ache. Epitaph in a dog cemetery: "He never met a man he didn't lick." Squirrel's NEST: A Nutcracker Suite. Social Diseases: Germs of endearment. If Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho...

When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it! I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said…

A preacher had a teenage son and he felt that it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away…

Jarge and Aggie lived in the cove just past Lewiston Tickle up on the Peninsula. It was early winter and the bottom of the cove had frozen over. Jarge asked Aggie if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to the general store and get him some smokes. She asked him for…

New Version of the Three Bears Story. A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning... Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks. Papa Bear arrives at the big table an...

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone." Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront...