La mêmes vieilles chanson et d

So, we supposedly have plans to spend next Friday together.  I am so incredibly unsure about what to expect, and am going to do my best not to show how nervous/excited I am. On another note, her current boy crush is Adam Lambert on Idol.  I have sworn off that show for the last 3…

 I'm not sure what I'm doing.  I have been listening to this on repeat for days.  Now D wont stop asking me whats wrong, and I just wish I could disappear.  I dont have it in me for another one of these 4 month breakups where he never actually leaves. I bought a pack of…

 Really, because why does it fucking matter anyway?

 Jose Gonzalez: Heartbeats One night to be confused One night to speed up truth We had a promise made Four hands and then away Both under influence We had divine scent To know what to say Mind is a razor blade To call for hands of above To lean on Wouldn't be good enough For…

Why does it seem like every time i almost get there, i just dont seal the deal.  I'm just too afraid of losing her altogether, i suppose. risk sucks.

me: So, what if I wanted to put my face in your neck, to breathe you in? j: I'm sure thats possible ;-) me: yeah?  I hope you dont think it's weird that i think you smell divine. j: haha, well thanks. me: if I asked you to just dance with me, would you? j:…

but if i dont love this girl, i might as well just pack up my heart and give it back to the maker   of course, i just feel like the earth could close up upon me if i just had her close. doing nothing, just experiencing the closeness  

*sigh* I am continually amazed at how quickly sane turns to crazy.  I was normal Friday, and now I have completely lost all grip on reality.  Ridiculous person that I am, analyzing the fucking texture of words to find one that has the smoothness of hope. AHH!  How do i let this hap...

Why does it always seem like I was trying too hard to say something I was better off not saying?  

Come home and come online she asks.  I want to talk to you she says.  Like 5 sentences, and she had to do something (really, i believe her) but seriously. I am waiting for you...