bizzzarrooooo

wow where do i even begin. i havent been updating because i havent been at my parents house since thursday. and i dont ever get on the computer at the apartment.  i dont even really live here anymore. my parents would be shocked to see me here if they were around. i think i’ll sleep here tonight though. derek is out of town for the week. it really sucks. i just dropped him off at work and he wont be home until friday night. maybe saturday. but yeah im just basically living with him and josh now. but tonight i’ll stay here to give josh a break from me. but i will most likely go back to the apartment to stay later this week. we really need to get a bigger place. this 2 bedroom apartment is not really working out. especially because josh’s girlfriend is supposed to be moving back. and derek thinks that when she gets back we’ll be able to get a bigger place for the 4 of us. ‘cuz living with them would make the expenses a little easier to handle. especially since we’re looking into houses not just apartments. i dont know. we’ll have to go look for something this weekend when he’s around. i wish he got to see his daughter more often. i’d love to spend more time with her. i want her to be used to me and used to me and derek together. i know she’s only 2 but the situation with her mom and derek isnt really a good one. we wanted to take her out to the movies and lunch this weekend but apparently they werent even in town. it hurts derek so bad when he never gets to see her. they didnt even let him see her on fathers day. i dont know why i started in on that topic. she is just a gorgeous little girl. looks just like derek. hmmm anyway what else. . .oh oh oh yeah i dont really talk about this a lot but i might as well just say it in here, its not a big deal, ok it is a big deal. . .derek basically has proposed to me. yeah it wasnt an official thing really and i dont have a ring. . .yet. but i will. we’re still just working out details. hopefully we can get a place by the end of the summer and get me all moved in. after that then we’ll probably get more serious about all that. we talked about what our wedding was going to be like. . .haha his best man is going to be josh and josh is all crazy looking. he’s got a mohawk and he is missing one of his teeth and derek was joking about how josh could wear just a tuxedo t-shirt. you know one of those ones that is a regular t-shirt but looks like a tuxedo. haha that would rock i think. we’d have the coolest wedding ever. god im gonna miss him while he’s gone. we’ll be doing this all summer basically. it’ll suck but i think i can get used to it. . .i hope. im so used to being with him every day. we’ll both have to adjust to it. god im so in love i even make myself sick!!!! haha