Old song…

Arrive in a hive city
Somewhere in the east
Floating down a crowded street
As though I am or I will be released
Ellie’s stopped yawning, clear blue morning
In mourning no more
Come and see the wild things that are
Just beyond the door

Well there’s an old man here
He claims that he knew you in another life
I’m not sure what he’s sayin’, Ellie,
Could it be he still thinks you’re his wife ?

I’ve been waiting, seems like eternity
I’ve been waiting waiting for you
I’m still waiting if you remember me
I’ll be waiting, waiting for you

Trinkets sing on a desert wind behind here
Where ghosts have laid their final claims to rest
But who they left and what they thought they stayed for
Has crumbled in their last dusty caress
     ~The Church

I woke up this morning with an old song in my head.  I don’t know if I was dreaming about it or something.  It’s called Two Places at Once and it’s by The Church.  I don’t think I’ve heard anything else by them.  This particular song is on a tape that I have from college.  It was one of those free tapes of new artists that they were handing out somewhere down town and besides a Sara Maclachlan song on there, this was the only other song I liked.  I used to just listen to it over and over.  But then all of a sudden CDs became even bigger than they were and I forgot all about tapes and forgot all about that song.  Then all of a sudden, I wake up this morning with the song in my head.  I tried to download it, but of course it wasn’t out there anywhere.  So I ended up going to buymusic.com and buying it for $0.99 there.  It’s a good song.  I wonder if the rest of their music is any good?

I just remembered something from my convo with J yesterday that pissed me off.  During one of those awkward pauses where neither of us had anything to say, I was telling him how I had received an email from HL about a poker party for Saturday but that I couldn’t go because I already had plans.  So I said that one of these days, HL would have a poker party on a night when I would be able to go.  J’s response was to say in a pissy voice that if I wanted to go, I would have gone and that HL has been sending these for over a year now and it’s not possible that I have plans every time he has one.  God damn!  How fucking condesending.  Just because he has no fucking life and no friends to hang out with doesn’t mean that my life is that lame.  First of all, it hasn’t been a year.  I’m pretty sure the first email I got was this summer and this past summer, I was literally busy every single weekend.  I was out of town for a bunch of it and busy with two of my friends’ weddings the rest.  The last couple times, I really did have plans and HL always emails the day of the poker party and usually I make plans for the weekend by Thursday.  No I admit this last day I just didn’t go because I wasn’t in the mood to spend $30 to play poker and lose that money. But his comment was crap.  I was just trying to make conversation.  I was telling him about Sid and he was all like, "well, engineers are supposed to be really boring."  UGH!!  Guess what dumbass, he’s getting his PhD which makes him a hella lot smater than you and much more interesting because he has other things to talk about.  Ok, not true 100%, but he is a lot smarter and I think it’s stupid of him to judge some guy he doesn’t even fucking know.  Everytime I talk to him, it just reminds me more and more how right we aren’t for each other, but then it makes me sad because that means, I’ve never really had a relationship with someone that was meaningful.  UGH!  Ok, I dont’ want to talk about that anymore.

So I have a confession to make.  Please don’t make fun of me! 🙂  I’m almost 29 years old and I’m addicted to MTV’s Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County.  It started last year.  I watched all of the first season and then when this season started, I watched it all religiously.  This isn’t something I’ve admitted to but two people, my best friend Ang and Jennifer on OD.  I don’t know what it is about the show that compells me to watch.  These kids are so fucking spoiled and they have these drama filled lives…it’s like a car crash and I have to watch.  MTV is having a marathon right now and I have it on in the back ground.  Damn, these little 17/18 year old girls have these lives and problems unlike no other…I sware I don’t remember highschool being so drama filled when I was there.

On some sadder news, I found out the lady who was second in charge at my last job had a brain anuerism over the weekend and is having brain surgery today.  There is only a 50-50 chance of her living.  I feel awful.  I went to lunch with KM Friday and we even talked about her and how she’s been out a lot because of headaches.  We both blew it off saying it had to be stress and how she doesn’t know how to deal with stress.  I feel awful now.  She apparently went to the doctor a bunch of times for her headaches and they didn’t take her too seriously either.  They never did a MRI on her or anything and if they had, they most likely would have caught it.  This pisses me off about our medical system.  I hate it all!  I hate the way it all works.  They are so worried about the money they won’t make from insurance companies that won’t pay for things that they don’t think are important, that they won’t do the required treatment for patients.  It’s sad.  We’re the richest country in the world and you would think it would be so much easier for our people to get the treatment they deserve.  That whole system needs to change but I don’t see it happening…not as long as most people believe that money is more important than actually helping other people.  Ok, I’m off my soap box now.

And on a final note, I have to say that I sometimes hate OD!  I really do.  Whenever I really feel like I want to write or have something to say, it seems to be down.  It came back enough for me to write this, but now I notice that it’s down again.  At least now I’m smart enough to save this somewhere else and post it when it comes back online.  I don’t know how many time before I’ve lost entries because of this problem.