WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE BELOW!
My therapist wants me to write down my emotions, Personally I do not think that is a good idea,
I know ultimately it’s to get them off my chest, but the last 3 hours of crying to fill a few lines isn’t something I’d call fun, so I thought I’d share it hear too anonymously, like we did in the late 90’s…… I do not care about your judgements or maybe I will, but still here goes.
Still Fucking angry, In think
Day 3 – Mandatory Self Quarantine (Missed Day 2 – Needed to breath)
For those of you that didn’t see my first post its likely that none of my rambling will ever make any sense, but that’s ok, because truth be told much like my tattoos they are not for you, they are for me.
For me to get things out of the proverbial filing cabinet, so that it doesn’t again one day implode. I said so much the other night, things that I never thought I would say it out loud, things that are hurtful if read by the wrong person, of the really fancy non de plumes I have chosen are worked out. But once again, DILIGAF
For the first time ever in my little online writing world I feel like I don’t need to be anyone in particular, I don’t need my hair done, nails cut, smelling and looking like the corporate head up my arse man that I can be at times.
The world we live in is strange at the best of times, as a traveling man I was taught to be cautious, taught to be courteous, taught to be a gentleman, hold doors, pull out chairs, stand when someone sits, never ever shake hands sitting down, Cheers of drinks are in the eyes or not at all and a mans reputation and word is his greatest asset and legacy.
But I was taught a lot of these things by families that took me in, not families that share my blood, the family that we share silly little anecdote with, “You hate me don’t you!” “If I had a brother like you, he would go pour me a drink” “When I was your age I could tow a boat with my dick”
They taught me to laugh, taught me how to speak to people, taught me confidence, taught me my craft, they made me one of their own figuratively, latterly, occasionally financially but most importantly compasionat4ely.
To whom ever is reading this, is said it in my last post too “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” I believe this to my last breath, you can choose your family. We all choose our wife, husband, partner, special person, we adopt parts of their persona’s too, the more time we spend together with our loved ones the more we take on parts of them.
I got my first Covid result back NEGITIVE, so on day 13 I can get another test and with all going well if negative on day 14 I can return to my world of work.
But for at least the next few weeks I’m here and I want to write, I hope it keeps happening, I’m really enjoying it.
Plus I think after my first post I have a lot of elaborating to do for someone of you following along at home.
Until then Trev non de Plume
Is going to watch a movie with his kids whilst being wrapped in a bubble of who knows what to continue the self isolation.