May 14, 2009

dumping and venting!!

I tried to write this entry the other day and OD wouldn’t let me write a new entry. I could read and note but just couldn’t write. Weird, huh?

This week didn’t go very well. I had to have chemo on Tuesday and my port wouldn’t work properly. My mom took me to my 8:30 appt. We met with the oncologist and he said my numbers all look okay. Then when I went to get my chemo infusion in went down hill from there.

When my port doesn’t work after flushing it out they put an enzyme treatment in it. It takes a half hour to work. I ended up being there until 1:30pm. Then I was pretty muched knocked out for the rest of the day. I am so sick of that sicky tired feeling all the time. I just want it all to be over with!

The one thing that has really bothered me lately about all this cancer stuff is that it seems as though everyone in my life is just going on with their happy little lives. Here I am in the middle of my battle and still stuck here. Unable to make plans and move on with things. Still sick and tired and unable to work.

The friends who would send cards, call and visit every now and then have seemed to forgotten about me or got busy with life. Now I am home bored and lonely, sick and tired. People from my church have quit calling too. Have they forgotten about me?

Sorry if it sounds like a poor me…feel sorry for me entry but I just have to get this out. It has been bothering me alot lately.

It has been getting harder every week to keep doing this. I have 20 weeks of chemo and just started week 15. On Tuesdays I just want to run away. NO MORE CHEMO!!

Well, its 3:45am and I need to try to get some sleep. I will write a more positive entry later.
Thanks for letting me dump and vent

I almost feel resentment towards people who have a normal, healthy life. Most people take it for granted. I would give anything to have good health right now.

Hey, it’s YOUR O.D. You can say anything you want. I can relate to what you are saying. I mean, I have had times in my life, not as difficult as yours, but, times when I felt like that too; How can everybody and everything just go on as usual? I wanted to scream at them all. I keep praying for you and I am sorry your church friends have stopped calling and coming over. My long distance here is free now, would like to e-mail me your phone #? I can call you sometime. my e-mail is: Butterfly4Him01@gmail.com. I am making this note private, cuz I know Traci Lynn notes you. I am NOT faves with her /and haven’t been since she called up my ex, etc. BigHugzz. I love you Susan.

Conspicuous

May 15, 2009

You’re right- a lot of people do take their lives and health for granted. I’m sorry you’re feeling forgotten about. 🙁 *HUG*

ddfroger

Hope everything continues to go well. (((hugs)))

Oh, Susan, I wish I could do something for you. I think about you all the time and I know that your battle continues. I will check on you more often with Facebook, MySpace, etc. I know that your faith will pull you through this. You are one of the few people who have totally demonstrated their Christianity in action. You live it and you will find a way to make this challenge work for you.

juslilbitty

I havent forgotten about you hun. I pray for you every day.Ill run away with you on Tuesdays if you want.. Or you can come here and come to REINS with me! love you and thinking fo you..(((Hugs)))

Oh you Dear Dear sweetheart – I am so sorry and I know that I would feel the same. Nothing gets you down worse than feeling sick. I just can’t imagine all the you feel and have been through. I hope your friends start realizing…. don’t be afraid to tell one or two how you are feeling… maybe they will tell the others.

You spill it girl!!! Some of us people are so damned self’absorbed that we don’t think of others. You are going through a hard time. I haven’t forgotten about you even with my current situation. God has is all under control. Remember that. Lots of love and hugs,,,,,, and you know that I don’t DO hugs. LOL..