“I remember this place, I remember this town, I remember this feeling, I remember it all.” 
 
“I am standing in Bradford Park, looking around, and I realize I’ve gone back to July of 2000. 
I am staring at my 15-year-old self sitting at the picnic table alone. I slowly walk up, not to startle myself. I am wearing a tank top and shorts over a bathing suit. I set what I have in my hands down on the table. It was our lunch on the daily: mini tacos with a side of cheese fries. Like 40-year-old me, 15-year-old me slowly picks at her food.  “Did we get married?” “Yeah, we did, 18 years married, and 23 years together.” “Is Life really hard?” “We have some challenges, but we push through them and overcome what stands in front of us.” “How’s Gram?” “Sadly, we lost her at 19. We will lose Papaw when our daughter is 4 months old, and Grams at 35.” “We have a daughter?” “Yes, and she is everything you dream of and more.”  “I know you feel alone right now, but it’s not always going to be like that. You make some wonderful friends, and some of them not so wonderful, who will change your life in ways that you couldn’t even imagine.” “Do we still live here?” “No, we moved at 19 and a half, but we moved back to Stark County at 21 and stayed there until 36, but now I live next door to Dad. “Just Dad.” “Sadly, Mom left us in 2019, and we have a very hard time coping with the loss, but lean on those closest to you; they will have you.” “Do we still talk to the pool crew?” “Some of them.” “Our husband, did we marry J?” “No, we didn’t, but talk to him a little bit more, in years to come, he will move states away, but in the end, he, becomes one of your dearest friends, and he still loves to give you shit,”, did we marry Rusty?” “No, that will end in 2001, no loss there, my dear.” “So, we have a daughter, what is she like?” “She’s the absolute best; she brings out the best in you each time she jokingly calls you a bitch or tries to sit on your head.” “Oh wow,ok back to J, He becomes one of our dearest friends?” “Yes, I’m living in 2025 right now, and He checks in on us more so than not, and yes he does still give us shit, He’s known us our entire lives, if you determine a best guy friend, he would be it, you will understand in the future what I mean.”

“So, we do ok in life, did we attend college?” “Yes, we got a CNA license, but decided on a teacher, but again, our daughter took priority over schooling.” I noticed her let out a breath that she had been holding. “I know you are worried about our school closing, but ultimately, it’s not a bad thing, you enjoy the bus ride each morning, Stay away from certain people, do not sit at that lunch table the first day of school lunch, you will understand what I mean when the time comes, it will make more sense, Damn, there are so many things I want to tell you, Don’t take Trina’s treatment to heart in the beginning, she’s just a kid trying to figure herself out, She will become your backbone, your best friend, your sister, bonus mom to your daughter, She just had to figure herself out.” “Whose Trina?” “She is your husband’s cousin, but she likes you better than she likes him, and you 2 have the best times together.” “What about Kayla?” “Oh Wow, where do I start? She will move away at the end of this summer, you won’t talk to her again for a few years, and things don’t go right, you will be hurt by her actions, don’t worry too much about it. Boy, does it sting like hell, but again, you will be ok.”  “Do not trust Toni, she seems kindhearted and genuine at first, but She’s a wolf in sheepskin, a snake ready to strike, it’s the best way to describe her actions, oh and then there’s Jessie, you will start at a distance, but seriously let her into our world, she is the best especially after the crap Toni pulls, oh and for the love of everything Holy, do not trust Abbie, worst decision we made .” “I feel like I should be writing this down,” my past self says, reaching for the notebook from the bag next to her. “It won’t matter, cause the moment I disappear, those notes will too, it will come back to you as things progress in life.” 

“Where do we attend high school?, Mom says she wants me to go to Stark County, but I want to attend BV.” “No, attend Stark County, there are so many factors why you choose Stark over the other 2.”  “What’s the point of you visiting me now?” “Look around, you are sitting in the park alone, eating your lunch, I remember this feeling of loneliness, seclusion, I am you, just older, I’m telling you, Life is hard, but being Barbie is even harder, things will never go your way, they never have, You grow to love who you are, you come out to mom, dad, and grams each in their own, and their reactions are altogether different, but each one supports your decision.” “Come out, I’m not.” “You are, and you are ok.” “Your biggest crush will become Bayley.” “Bayley?” “Right, Bayley is an 11-year-old girl from San Jose, California who dreams of being a wrestler.” “Wrestling, yuck.” “You won’t say that at age 20, or again at age 39, There are Rhea, Damian, Kayden, Katana, Raquel, and Jey, but they aren’t as big to you as Bayley.”  Just then, the skies change, and grow dark “It’s going to storm, I hate storms.” “Yeah, I do too, but I tell myself that it’s those up there angry at us for the choice we make, and they are telling us with each burst of thunder and lightning.  I watched the younger me get up from the table. “I should go home before the storm hits.” I watch as you walk to your bike and ride off down the street towards home.  
 
Just then, I feel my arm vibrate, I open my eye, and I’m back in my bed, May 22, 2025, it’s my watch alarm alerting me that my blood sugar is low. A sigh, there was so much I wanted to tell my younger self.  I smile because I am happier who I am now, only I had only talked to my future self when I was 15. Maybe I did, and as I said, it would all disappear from my memory the moment my future self traveled back to our timeline.

Song of Post- Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm.