One Down, Nine to Go **

The stars keep coming in.

The original Jeanie Bueller is playing the former best friend of the Jeanie Bueller from the TV series.  An appearance of that magnitude doesn’t really call for a Sweeps Month episode, so this was an April episode.  Not like Jonathan Silverman, who played the doctor who delivers Carol’s baby.  (Sorry, the picture’s not available.  I took one, but it didn’t save properly, and I didn’t notice it until the disc was sealed and sitting in a lovely blue mailbox, waiting for a nice postperson to pick it up and take it home.)

The interesting thing about Jonathan Silverman’s appearance is that his show, The Single Guy didn’t premiere until the next fall.  Did NBC do this on purpose?  Like “Hey, remember how we had Jonathan Silverman guest star on a Must-See TV show?  How would you like it if he starred in one?”  Who the hell knows?  I feel like I’ve already invested too much time thinking about the guy who played the guy who spent that weekend with that dead guy…and then another weekend.

The other thing that interests me about this whole Ross fathering a baby that was going to be raised by a lesbian couple thing is that all of this was happening 3 years after the whole Dan Quayle, Murphy Brown thing.  Quayle spoke up about Murphy Brown raising a child out of wedlock, and how it shows the decay of family values.  You’d think a lesbian couple raising a child would anger morons more than a single woman.  Of course, by this time, there was a different Vice President.  Instead of worrying about the comings and goings of fictional characters, Al Gore invested his time with things more important, like the environment.

Now that I think about it, I kind of miss Dan Quayle.  He harkens back to a time when the Vice President was kind of a bumbly idiot, and not some Voldemort-like character.  Yeah, we have an idiot as President, but I’d honestly like an idiot for a Vice President than a President.  Besides, it’s a different kind of idiot.  Dan Quayle misspelled ‘potato,’ whereas Bush just messes up everything he touches.  Of course, he somehow convinced 50.7% of the voters to re-elect him in 2004, so who’s the idiot?

Hot and Hotter

So, we’ve got Jennifer Aniston.  Knee high socks, nice.  Plaid skirt, nice.  And a sweater?  Okay, it was 1995.  Two out of three, I suppose.  By the way, that’s Marla Hooch from A League of Their Own.  What a hitter!

Phoebe, looking sultry while playing an old school Game Boy.  Yeah, I’m going to have to go with Phoebe and the Game Boy.

I guess since I brought up technology, I’ll share some other finds.

Ross is learning Chinese on a walkman.  Remember having a walkman, and then being stuck with the same 90 minutes of music?  I have a feeling this concept will completely baffle my future children.  It kind of makes think about how crazy it was, and I had several walkmen throughout my formative years.

I never had a beeper, though.

However, there was a period of time when my family had the same exact wireless phone as Monica and Rachel.

I think AT&T made it.

This isn’t a “Hey, look at this antiquated phone” thing—although you can look at it and comment on its comical outdatedness.  This is something else.  Apparently, Central Perk has a phone that any of its customers can use without asking.  It’s there on the counter, and if you get a beep, feel free to grab it and make a call.  I question this establishment’s business model.  Between hiring Rachel, who isn’t the best waitress in the world, and their communal “Feel free to call anyone on us” phone, it makes me wonder how this place is able to stay open.  My guess is that they charge $10 for biscotti the size of your thumb.  How else would they be able to afford to keep their furniture clean?

Seriously, Chandler, no shoes on the couch.  I understand you had an unconventional upbringing, but I venture to guess that you weren’t raised in a barn.  Would you climb all over your furniture?  Better yet, would you like it if I came over and climbed all over your furniture?

Once again, I am floored by the way the hospitals in New York are supposedly run.  A woman is giving birth, and in there with her is her ex-husband’s sister, her roommate, and their neighbors.  Seriously, anyone can just go in and watch this birth?  That seems exceptionally unhygienic.  Thankfully, when the father and the mother’s life partner, the nurse spoke up and kicked out everyone who hadn’t had sex with the mother in the past year.

It may be months after he was first spotted reading an issue of Anthropology Weekly, but Ross is still on the same issue.  It’s a weekly publication.  I wonder what was in this issue that makes it so difficult for him to put it down.

Joey and Chandler are missing a spice.  I may speak for no one here, but I really want to know what spice is missing.  Maybe it’s just on the counter, having just been used.  No, still, put it away.  If I had that spice rack, I probably wouldn’t be able to handle one spice not being put away.  Oddly enough, I’d be able to handle multiple spices not being where they belong.  If I were making something where I used two, I’d probably not put them away, and then the next time I used another spice, I wouldn’t put that one away, because that would mean that I’d need to put the other two away.  But just one not being put away?  I don’t know how anyone could live like that.

Monica’s boyfriend wears a watch during sex.  I mean if you’re going to be taking everything off, you might as well take the watch off, too.  It’s a lot less awkward than taking off socks before sex, but it looks just as ridiculous to have sex with it on.  Plus, that thing can scratch or get caught in hair.  Why would you need to know the time?  You’re having sex!  Besides, Monica probably has a bedside clock if you need to know the time that much.

Despite it being May, the Empire State Building is still lit up with Christmas colors.  C’mon, City of New York, get on the ball.  You used to change the lights to blue for Sinatra’s birthday—one day.  Christmas colors in December?  Now, you’re just getting lazy.

I bet they have a spice rack with one spice not put in as well.

* * * * * * *

Okay, so I’ve decided that I should give this sick "sociological" project of mine a home of its own.  This will be the last Friends entry here.  For future posts on this, go to http://craytube.blogspot.com.  Seriously, no matter who many different ways I try to code that to make it all nice and clickable, it doesn’t work.  Really, it’s not "Cray Tube," it "C. Ray Tube," as in cathode ray tube.  Yeah…nerdy.

As of right now, only the first post is up.  I’m still getting a hang of blogger, which actually seems pretty self-explanatory…but still, it’s me.