The oil of Joy
There’s just something about the way he took all the dark thoughts, the ones that played on repeat in my head. The ones tormenting me in private, in public, at work, in the shower. The thoughts that I believed for years. And he helped me wrestle each one until it surrendered to the truth. The truth of who I am, who he is, and the life he has for me. I am so thankful for the sound mind God has given me. For peace that transcends all understanding. Now when I have a bad day and those thoughts try to come again, I know they are on the outside trying to press in but they don’t live inside of me anymore. The Holy Spirit dwells there. My mind has been set free, thank you Lord.
I remember when I knew without a doubt that the spirit of depression had broken off of me. I was rocking my daughter, she was a week old. Those first few days were so beautiful and peaceful. I was so in love with her. My pregnancy and delivery had went so smooth. And she was finally here, my beautiful girl. But there was a heaviness in our home. My husband was battling depression. I had battled with postpartum depression after delivering my first child and was determined that I would “keep it together” this time and not go to that dark place again. But the darkness seemed to slowly fill my home until I was surrounded. And the one thing I could think to do while I was constantly rocking and breastfeeding my daughter was to play music. I listened to one song in particular over and over. “Our Father” by Jenn Johnson. At the time I didn’t even realize that I was singing the Lord’s Prayer. But Jesus was there in the midst. As I would nurse my baby and rock and sing. All day, all night, in the dark, in the morning, praising God and lifting up his name. Until the darkness broke. Now it has no power over me. As a person that was bedridden at one point from depression, I can say today that God has fully and completely healed me.
Worship is the greatest weapon over darkness that God gives. Because in worship there is only God’s light. The devil can’t be in the presence of God. He has to leave. So I will sing of all that Jesus has done for me, everyday of my life. And I will speak of his goodness because the devil tried so hard to keep me silent and fearful. But God has made me to be bold to speak his truth and share how we can overcome all darkness. Feel free to send a note if you are dealing with depression or anxiety and need help to fight it God’s way. If you’re sick and tired of battling the same thoughts, or just want to talk please reach out.
-Daughter of God
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.
Isaiah 61:1-3 NKJV