I’m the problem

I was apparently due for a mental breakdown, as that was what happened last night. I have been feeling so much lately and with so much going on, I felt it all heavy inside me. My mind and body could no longer hold it in.

I feel “better” now. I feel lighter. I describe it as like my “bucket” is empty for now. I woke up disoriented, dizzy, and with a pounding headache. It quite literally felt like a hangover without the alcohol. I believe I cried so much I became a bit dehydrated. After drinking tons of water and aspirin, I began to feel better as the day went on. I could very much use a hug right now or be held but I feel that way often and must learn to comfort myself. I did tear up a little talking with my mom and my sister but I was able to control the emotion without it going too far again.

I also ran on the treadmill with the music blazing after my breakdown so that also did not help with my loss of water intake.

As one who feels energies from people and situations, I’m afraid these breakdowns might happen more than they have recently.