night.

few things sit in my mind and nag me quite as much as our schedule.

every january, our time for church rotates. the last couple years, we have slept in the mornings because church was late. we moved in december and happened to be in a new church with late hours, too.

it is horrendous this year. we have to go to bed in the afternoons because we’ve rotated to morning church.

it is so depressing. you get up, and it’s dark out. everyone is heading to bed. you cant go to the park. nothing is open. you cant go outside.

you have to sleep through any events. this year, we cant go to fireworks for the fourth. we cant enroll jace in swim lessons; theyre in the evening. just as the earth is starting to warm up in the morning, you have to get ready for bed.

shopping trips have to be rushed because the time between stores opening and bedtime is so small.

i loathe having to drag jace back inside just as he’s running and exploring outside.

i cant make friends. jace doesnt get to socialize outside of nursery each weekend.

we could go to a ‘normal’ schedule, but then the kids would never see jeff. the nights he’d have off, we’d be asleep. we’d see him for about 4 hours a day total. the very little help i get now would be gone.

i dont know what to do about it. jeff’s been looking for a job for 2 years. it isnt like we arent trying here. he has to have something to support us, so on this crappy schedule we stay.

i dont know what to do.