Sunday

I started writing something last night but my iPad ran out of battery and I hadn’t saved it 🙄 I don’t think it was anything important really- I was just trying to do a quiet task so our small one would go to sleep!

I was reminded today of what initially drew me to Open Diary -many, many years ago! I was in my late teens and a bit lost in the world. My Dad had passed away and I was sort of ‘drifting’; I was at University but the loss of my Dad had been very sudden and had thrown me into a weird sort of no mans land where the days were just a haze. I wasn’t really concentrating and things were sort of – muffled. I imagine that when an explosion happens there is smoke, confusion and the sound is muffled and that is how my life felt. Like things were going on around me but I was separate from it all. One day I was sort of wasting time when I should have been studying and via a meander through various websites, typing in random .com addresses, as you do, I came across a website called ‘bored.com’ (don’t think it exists anymore). It was a website that had all sorts of things for if you had too much thumb twiddling time, videos and games, links to silly sites- or interesting ones…which is where I saw Open Diary. I originally just looked at what other people had written but then decided it might be a good thing for me to try too. Over time it became a great outlet for me and allowed me to share lots of thoughts I didn’t want to share anywhere else. I had a handful of people who I followed regularly, people across the world with lives varied and different to my own, but often equally looking for something- some security or stability that was lacking in their outside world. I had a few people who used to leave me regular notes and their words really meant a lot to me- probably more than they will ever know. I have been a…sporadic visitor over the years and so was shocked when one day I decided to check in only to discover OD was gone! But was given a little glimmer of hope by a Facebook page that had hoped to save OD. To cut a long story short, eventually – after a few teething issues, OD came back! And so did I…sporadically again. I had hoped to find some of those people who I connected with many moons ago and I have found a couple. But some I have not, I do t know if I just haven’t found them or they don’t write anymore, perhaps they write somewhere else. I hope they are well and happy, that their lives are fulfilled. I do wonder where they are and how things have turned out for them

I find it interesting that once more I have been drawn back here, during a time of uncertainty for everyone. My life is relatively secure these days and certainly I find myself in a happier world personally; I am very happily married with 2 active and lovely little boys and hope to at some point get my little business up and running again, but I am very much enjoying being a Mama. We are living in many ways living in strange days and interestingly that’s what my old diary used to be called I think- so I feel I have come about full circle in a way. Anyway, although I feel I have more I could ramble on about, I better scoot -I have a hungry family to feed! Enjoy your Sundays people x