racing the sun, dying.

i am not doing well. i am overwhelmed to the point of panic attacks today. i wanted to use drugs so bad that i tried to obtain them, and then i resorted to food, which didn’t provide any comfort whatsoever and just made me feel more stuck in a rut. i have lost forty pounds, but since school started, i haven’t been able to lose any weight. i fucking suck at dealing with stress. this job is too much. so very too much. i need a day on the weekend, but on saturdays, i have to tutor, and then sundays, i have to plan. and i don’t. get. a. fucking. break.

i wanted to die today. legit. and that scares me.