candles

"i think we’re both pretty fucked up. but differently. maybe you’re honest with your feelings. i pretend i’m happy. pretend so well that i’ve even got myself fooled. fucking christ. what a big mess. we’re both candles…wax melted alllll over the table. on a really warm day. mixed with sticky jam. but under papers so that when someone wants to clean it up it’s all over the place and is gonna be one hell of a job because we’re one huge mess…"

i really wish i had a real friend like you. but at least i can know someone like you exists. you just understand, and when you don’t understand, you don’t pretend like you do. you know? oh, you know.

me and michael had sex today for the first time since my period ended and everything. i’ve been so depressed lately, i think i’ve lost my sex drive a bit. i just want cuddles and love. when i orgasmed, i suddenly felt like i was going to cry. and afterwards i did.

why oh why. because i’m a mess.

you know?