07/08/2012

The main class I’m taking, though not my form class, has been giving me a hard time, and I feel so demoralised after every lesson. On Friday, the lack of progress with them left me close to tears. There is this boy in the class, problematic would be an understatement… I’ve heard that his parents go in and out of jail for matters to do with drugs, that the father is super strict with him while his grandparents who take care of him when his parents are not around spoils him to no end and allows him to do whatever he wants. In school, he doesn’t have any respect for authority, the more you ask him to stay seated, the more he would stand and walk around the class to disturb his classmates. But if it is only this boy who is giving me trouble, it might not be so bad. The thing is half the class have no eyes for rules. They stand and walk around as and when they like. They bicker over minute things during lessons all the time and bear grudges with one another. The entire class is filled with negative vibes. From the first day I entered the class, I saw that I cannot let them do this in my class as they do in the previous teacher’s and other current teachers. I’ve been trying day after day to train them to abide by the usual class rules. I can say that it is beginning to work for some rules, but the results are so minute.
I know that it would be worth it to use the beginning time to set things right in terms of their behaviour, so that later on, everything would be much easier, but at the same time, there is so much to complete and they are so much behind time. I feel so apologetic to the good students in class who behaves and yet have their class time wasted by the rest.. And I am honestly worried that I would not be able to finish everything on time.

I am constantly reminding myself to stay positive and trying to believe that it will work out if I persevere. I am able to do this. I am capable enough. Do not get frustrated or show any frustrations. Just stay firm. It will work out.

On the other hand, my other foundation class, albeit slower, is a pleasure to teach. They are so well-behaved I always feel so relieved and relaxed to be in their company after a lesson with the previous class.

And oh, my SEVENTEEN classes of Health Education (Almost all the P5s and P6s). I didn’t look forward to it in the beginning. But I’m now actually enjoying it. 

Sigh. With the right form teacher, the climate of that class could be so much different if it had been built up right from the beginning. But it’s ok. I can do it!