Lots of CRAP

*Hrmph*.. I am bored. And also ticked, because I wrote a REALLY long entry before this one, but something happened and I lost ALL of it.. so now I am forced to try to recall all of the shit that I put earlier!! Bleh. Anyway, Renee spent the night last night, but she left this morning so that she could go talk to Toke! Last night, all we did was roam around Auburn, and I was picking directions based on my feelings.. when we were walking back to my house, we heard noises that were cracking, and scraping.. and it was freaky because it was really dark outside.. and when we were walking past one of my neighbors houses, this little dog started to bark at us out of nowhere, and it freaked me out because it was a wierd surprise. But anyway, nothing has been going on today, even though its only about noon.. but Ive just been bored, thats all. Rogers kids are coming over, so surely that will be interesting..

>;

Yes, i guess Toke is right about saying that chasing guys is a natural instinct and that I shouldnt run from it, so now I dont feel so stupid about it. Even though it is kindof pointless for me, since I have already found someone who I care about more than anyone else. So, its all good! So.. we are getting a German Shephard puppy this Friday.. hopefully he will grow very big so he is able to kick everyones ass! So if anyone is thinking about sneaking into my house and murdering me, think again! Unless of course you bring something to kill the dog, too.. and since I told you about the dog you probably will. So just forget I said anything about the dog, ok?

…..

Well, Im finally starting to feel the pressure that I have heard so much about, when people become upperclassmen and have to start worrying about graduating and about college and everything.. Lets see.. well, this is the class order that it goes in math: Algebra 1, Geometry, Algebra 2, Pre-Calc.. see, Im a junior and only in geometry.. I need 2 credits in pre-calc to get the Core 40 diploma that I want.. plus I wanted to take the SAT’s, and because of the math questions on it, its suggested that I have a year in algebra 2 before I take it.. and I sure as hell dont want to take it during the end of my senior year.. and I really dont want to have to take algebra 2 in summer school so I can be caught up, and im not even sure if they have algebra 2 in summer school.. the reason I am behind is because the school I went to in my freshman year didnt have algebra.. so it leaves me behind! Bleh! But, Autumn and Renee have the same problem I do, because they are both in geometry too.. Also, we have been hearing things about how we should be starting to plan our lives for after high school, having to do with college and everything.. the only thing I know is that I want to go into something with psychology.. I always thought it would be cool to be one of those psychologists that work with animals, because it would be putting 2 of my favorite things together.. and Im not even sure which college I should pick, because Im not sure where I want to live.. I was wanting to move to Georgia, but Im not sure what colleges they have around there, and I need to find out what college entry exam they mostly take, whether its the SAT’s, ACT’s, or something else. AHH!!! So much pressure! I think I should just crawl under a rock and live there. Sounds good to me! Sometimes I dont like modern society, because of all the meaningless crap you have to do.. sometimes I look at animals and admire them.. even though im sure they have it very hard.. but oh well.

I dont know why i been feeling crappy.. it might be better than yesterday, because yesterday I felt totally worthless. Sometimes I wonder how much people would miss me if I want here.. not like if I killed myself, because Im not that stupid, I just wonder how important I really am to anybody, and I wonder if I have really made an impact on someone, or changed anyones life. Its just something for me to think about, wondering if I really am important, and if I mean something. I wonder if I have a reason for being here? But I guess that I probably do.It’d just be nice to know.

Well anyway, Im pretty bored still.. Roger and his kids, and my sister are going camping.. that means at least I can have some time without them.. maybe it will help me relax or something.. Im going to get a physical after my sisters appointment at the dermatologist on friday, to find out everything thats wrong with me.. then I suspect I am going to a counselor, for different reasons. As long as I get some help, who cuurs?

Well, this entry is long as crap, so I will be going now.. I am tired of typing! I will write later, so farewell!