What I wanted….maybe~~

I went to sleep last night, the same way I woke up that moring. Thinking about D. I was sound asleep, and then the phone rang. It must have been about 2 or three in the moring. I didn’t answer it, cause I didn’t recongize the ring tone. I am a goof ball, and everybody that is someone body to me has thier own ring tone on my phone. Ranging from James Bond whom are my parents, to the A-Team theme for my friend Pinky..to Hang’em High when it is some from work. So I awoke, listened to the phone ring, and then went back to bed. Then later on that moring, I heard it…Amarillo by Morning..I opened my eyes, and thought it was a dream, cause it only played for about three seconds. I looked at the clock, and it was 5.30. I was like damn. Amarillo by morning is set for..in case you haven’t figured it out yet, for D. I went back to bed.

I woke up and started looking online for nothing really, when I got the e-mail. My first fantasy football team wa set. I made the mad dash over to scope out who I had ended up with. I think this year, is my best shot to finish atleast in the top three. Top two maybe and number one…is there, but I will have to play really smart. I am in a field with 13 other teams, so the free agency isn’t too good. Not to many good ones left. But still there are some sleepers. I have always said that part of fantasy football, is to keep other players from picking up the good players that you might have. So to drop a good qb, in favor of someone whom you hope blows up and has a great game, is not really to wise. I have done it before, and I have at times broken even..and at others…just failed while I watched the player I dropped, throw for 300 yards and two or three TD’s. So basicly all that is left is to either trade..or just swallow your pride and don’t drop anybody. I also activated my other two teams..I was waiting to watch a couple pre-season games first, so that my pre-draft rankings would be good. I also created a whole new team called WME. That stands for winning made easy. I got a pull out from ESPN the mag, and it showed you who to pick, and who not to pick. Basicly, I just went down the line, and got whom they said. I have never used cheat sheets, or listened to the fantasy shows, but I figured hell what do I have to loose. I just hope I can keep up with 4 teams…Depending on what happens here in the next few days, if those three teams don’t provide atleast two good teams with decent players, I might have to get another one.

I looked outside this afternoon, and the weather was great. No cloud cover, clear skies, and a nice warmish breeze just flowing thru. I was in the mood. Ha, yeah that dosen’t happen to much lately. I popped open a left over beer, and decided to bar b que. About chopped off my leg with the axe as I miss judged the mesquite chunk, but it was all good. I went for some chicken breast and some sausage. I light the fire, didn’t manage to sinche my eyebrows, so things were going good. In between going out and comming in, I was watching the Giants and the Ravens game. That boy Troy Smith looked good. Then again, he was going up against the third string Giants D..but what can you say. I went out to set the chicken and came back. I recently got the Hitman Trilogy so I was playing that on the PC. Good game, a little violent..and bloody..and gory..but oh well. Nothing better I guess that putting a bullet thru someones head with a sniper rifle at about 100 yards, cause he was going to sell some nuclear weapons to some terrorist. In that mission and in others throught the game, it seems to always have a good story line, or xcuse for killing someone. Wether it is a person who kidnapped a famous person, to a congressman getting his photo taken with a stipper dancing on him, and the owner of the photo is going to sell if for some weapons and he must dye.. ***Random*** What ever happened to the Wallflowers…I am listening to Sirius and they are playing One Headlight..that was a jam..so if anybody knows what happened to them..let me know…***** End Random***** So I was playing and running back and forth outside to check on the q. For some strange reason or another..I grabbed my phone..

"Sorry. Last night I was at the bar when you called if I get the chance would you like me to call you tonight? There it was in a nice little message. I was like yo..I wasn’t dreaming. This is for reals. After reading it over and over for about 10 minutes, and a smile that could have gone all the way around my head and them some..I pondered what to do. The key words that I found in the message were…"would you like". I mean I have know some people, whom lost touch with friends, and they can’t wait to hear from them again. I was in the understanding that she really wouldn’t question the wether or not to call, but in her saying hey call you tonight OK. But oh well. So I was like what to do. Should I call, send her a txt back…just sit there and read it over and over again. I closed the phone, and went on to eat.

Everything turned out good. I had almost forgotten what real food was. Heck now a days I pretty much support myself with junk food. It isn’t good for you I know..but I don’t have the actual time to sit down and plot something to make then make it and it is. Life for me is going by fast, and each day seems to me that it isn’t lasting the full 24 hours that it is suppose to. Tomato Toemato…what can I say. I ate got back on line, and checked my diary..glad to see I got some notes. I was like yeah…lol.

I picked up my phone, and sent a simple "sure" back to her. I have been sitting here for about 4 hours now..and still nothing. I guess I really didn’t get a responce to my questions from her. This is what I am talking about, that is killing me. SHe just pops in..says hi, and then leaves. And this whole time..I am just in awe as to what is going on with her. I am caring for someone..who I guess dosen’t need caring. I don’t know. Insert the mixed emotions here. —->

I know I need to move on..but there isn’t really anything there for me to move on from. We never dated..we never said we loved each other..we really didn’t have a romantic realationship per say..it was all just frends.. But for one reason or another..I can’t help but forget about her. I figured if she would have written me back or something and said to leave her alone, I would have taken the side of rejection..and things could have been much easier. But instead what I got, was a small taste, a small tease…of hope….

Well that is about it. I am off to finish the Hitman game. I have to start a war between two Honk Kong Mafia members, in hopes of them going to war with each other, and hopefully for my client eliminate each other. Strange game..but good…