Indifferent

I’m unsure how recent our divorce is for you, but I remember when I was in my first couple years, it was such a storm of feelings initially, and then it became this underlying feeling of intense anger that could be drawn upon so quickly or easily without warning.  I was SO FURIOUS that I couldn’t have the life I so intentionally set up for myself and worked so hard to keep, that other people just fell into a truly loving relationship while young and managed to stay together and have a beautiful home and life.  It still will hit me sometimes, “Why me?” although thankfully a lot less intense and angry.  Ultimately, I’m thankful for my freedom, despite those feelings of failure and loss.  It has taken purposeful effort to keep building a life while solo, and it can be very tiring and feel very futile.  It remains such a journey but I am definitely feeling like I’ve managed to learn a lot about myself a long the way, lessons I didn’t necessarily look for but they found me.  I hope that you have a wide social circle, maybe some family, to provide you with connection and love, because that can be the lifeline that keeps you tethered to hope.