Misery loves Company
I often find myself so angry. Why did my marriage fail? Why did I let someone treat me like an option, be an absent parent and partner.. but yet share my bed? Why now is he entitled to 50/50with our child when it was never 50/50 when together? Why does he get to continue to live his life and paint me as the bad guy- when all I did was beg for mercy and love? Did I try hard enough? Did I love hard enough? Was anything ever enough? Why is this failure so deep and so major? Why do some days my hands shake and my chest ache with anger? I am so tired of him holding the power.
Why does he get to move on- might I add with another MARRIED woman- so what, he can just expose our child to a woman whose broken up her family to impose on the brokenness of mine? I find myself disgusted- wishing the hands of time could rewind and that I could erase it all.
But time doesn’t forgive, and it hardly forgets. Something this deep may never fade.
I am so tired of being angry, I don’t wish him the best, or her the best.
In fact, I secretly just wish misery.
Yeah, that 50/50 parenting thing post-divorce is such a wild thing. It forces those fathers who were very backseat during the marriage to actually have to parent full time for the first time ever. He has to know details about the kids’ school life and friends and preferences that he never did before, make decisions about their meals and activities and give them rides to and from, when that was never on his plate in the marriage. The most annoying part was when mine would insist on telling me something or wanting to work something out together on a topic that I’d been the only parent aware of or handling it prior, talking to me like I had no clue and it was all mind blowing and urgent. New to the world, are ya buddy? Where the F have you been?
Also cheaters SUCK.
And angry is a phase that takes awhile to shake. It’s exhausting and feels horrible. Hang in there, it eventually passes.
@flowerandflame I love you. <3
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It’s very rare that a relationship that started from cheating will last. I truly believe once a cheater always a cheater. He will be miserable with her, too.
You’re allowed to be angry. That’s what I keep trying to tell myself. We give ourselves completely to these men and it’s never enough.
I can’t imagine how hard co-parenting must be. I see my struggle with it and I realize I’m lucky we never had kids. Men sure do step up when they have a new woman to impress. Mine wouldn’t even brush his own teeth, but now he’s got a fancy electric toothbrush! At least his breath will smell good when he’s feeding his new girlfriend a load of BS!
Meant to say I see my sister struggle with co-parenting
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