Hey! Long time no write! 🙂 I used to be so good about writing in here before kids. College days, early in my marriage, but with children it can be tough!
I’ll start with them. Eliza is now 7 and Paige is 4. They are my light each day. Really they are. Matt and I have worked really hard to teach them right from wrong, talk about manners, while other people have not done so with their kids. It’s true! We can go to a place and our kids, while not perfect, are not terrorizing people, whining, crying or screaming. It’s a great feeling to have as a parent. They are very happy and are growing so much. Eliza is about a half inch to an inch shorter than I was at this age. I’m 5’6 now, which seems tall, but I bet she’ll be my height some day. Paige is bigger boned and not as tall, but is the ray of sunshine that I need in my life each day. I truly value the both of them and their funny ways. They thrive on routine, love hot chocolate and popcorn, love their trampoline and watching My Little Pony, and are thoughtful and kind toward other kids. I enjoy being a parent now because it’s something I know how to do! And right now, I need that in my life. I remember that when I took the yearbook girls to camp in Dallas, I couldn’t wait to get home to see my kids because I knew that I’d know exactly what to do with my kids because I have the most experience there!
Matt is doing well too. We are on our 13th year of marriage this coming September. He has been at home during this break because he is between jobs. He is still recruiting, but has decided to return to oil and gas instead of working outside of the industry. Houston is known for its oil and gas jobs and despite his tendency to worry about the industry, he is ready to return to it and hopefully earn more money and hire people in higher income roles. He has been really happy since he left his previous job. He felt under appreciated there and they lied to him from the get-go about how many “recs” he’d have each day. He had upwards of 75 jobs to fill! If he had known the real deal, he wouldn’t have taken the job. Anyway, I hope that this new job is good for him and his career.
My job is trucking along. I’m doing my best to really gloss over the big glaring things that I could spend hours and hours boring you to death with. I logged on here today to start the process of “taking out the trash” so-to-speak with my thoughts about not only my job, but with everything else. I have found writing incredibly therapeutic since I can remember, especially if I am old school and put pen to paper, but this will suffice. My plan is to update more often and get out my feelings about work and the rest of my life. It’s not like I have a bad life at all. It’s quite the opposite. I think the biggest thorn in my side is that the previous yearbook adviser was the students “friend” rather than their teacher. Because I do things differently in the way of organizing or call them out on their crap when it’s getting overwhelming, and believe me, I’m patient, they don’t like it. I had an editor ask to talk to me the other day about how at lunch they talk about me and why I’m making so many changes, etc. I told her that I appreciated her coming to talk to me, but that I was very aware they already were doing that (they do it in the classroom) and that I was surprised that they thought I was making so many changes because to me, I’ve been very careful. I’m observing some really stupid stuff that the previous adviser let them get away with and I’m going to clean it up bit by bit. Believe me, this previous adviser really left a mess. She let them sleep underneath the desks during class at the end of the year! Are you freakin’ kidding me?! That’s just the tip of the iceberg.
The biggest pain in my side right now is Charlotte. She originally seemed like the most-mature one out of the group, but sadly that ship has sailed. She is loud, obnoxious, over-bearing and always tries to get people to do stuff for her. I actually called her out 2x already this year for the way she talks and acts toward me. She is best-buds with the editor-in-chief (Creighton) ah, yes, that’s what her parents named her, so that’s half the battle there, and Creighton is either in a foul mood or constantly pushes me off when I ask her questions about where we are in the process with design and the timeline for our proofs.
The third person that is rude is Saige, a 5’3 220lb. 17 year-old-child that is from the wrong side of the tracks but feels popular because she is a part of Creighton and Charlotte’s daily routine. The good news: both Charlotte and Creighton will be gone next year, the bad news, Saige will still be there. Honestly at this point, if the timing is right, I’d have a conversation with Saige if she was rude to me again that she didn’t have to return to yearbook if she didn’t feel right about. I hope she would leave! They are the most unfriendly, obnoxious group of teenagers. Again, the popular people do not impress me. The didn’t impress me in the 90s and they certainly don’t now. This trifecta is very God-oriented to a sickly point, where I’m pretty sure God would be shocked with how they act toward people. But they go to church religiously and wear all of the church shirts, so they should be fine, right? Riiiiight.
The rest of the 6 girls? They’re really harmless. At least I think they are. In the beginning of the year, I cried every day about the vibe and feeling of my work and the students and my surroundings. I wanted to scream to them that I was a good person, that I’ve got an amazing friend circle that I value each day, that I have 2 beautiful girls that are kind and smart and funny. That I have a loving husband who is funny and gets me and is my rock. That my parents and brother are the best parents and brother in the world and have my back, no matter what. These students don’t know anything about me and I’m trying to get to know them little by little without coming on too strong. I had Saige and another girl actually hide from when I walked down the hall to my teacher’s box. Hide. At that point did I call them out? Yes. Later that day, the core trifecta (as noted above) walked in front of me down the hall, turning around and telling the previous adviser’s best work friend that “Bye Lynch! I love you! (they call her by her last name) Have a great Christmas!!!!” I ignored it. It’s mean-girl city over here and I’m not partaking.
It’s like a bad love relationship or something. I think I gain with something I say or do to help them and I get to travel two steps forward, only to piss them off with something I didn that they find insulting and I find lame, and I take 3 steps back. I have rules and expectations and I know they hate that. Being a teacher for 11 years, I really know my right from my wrong, and I’m to continue to press on.
One of their friends who graduated the year before came back to visit during the Christmas party. I overheard her saying, “I only made 1 video for newspaper last year. I cannot believe I passed the class and I only made one news video!” Hello, red flag. If you’re letting students nap underneath a computer desk, you’re probably looking the other way at a lot of other stuff.
Sometimes I want to talk to my mom about it, sometimes I don’t because she can plant an idea in my head or something I didn’t think about, and a normal day with small blip gets blown out of proportion. I keep my head down and work to get through the year. This nonsense is only a small part of my day and sometimes it takes over my thoughts and feelings that it is overwhelming. Like losing sleep over it. Really awful and dumb, I know. I really thought I had a bout with depression at the start of the summer until about mid-November. I’m reading a book about how to put the overbearing feelings away and to try and not let them bother me or keep me awake at night. Just starting this book the other day and am learning a lot so far.https://www.amazon.com/Clarity-Cleanse-Spiritual-Fulfillment-Emotional-ebook/dp/B06XZL4RM9/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1546220649&sr=8-1&keywords=the+clarity+cleanse
I’ll update how I’m doing later this year after I read the rest of it.
As for exercise, I’m doing a lot of that– working on Tracy Anderson’s Metamorphosis and I like it because she doesn’t talk a lot and it’s not boring. The exercises change every 10 days and I’m seeing good results in this mommy body of mine, lol.
Ok, time to put the kids to bed and relax with the hubby. I have some eggnog that I want to bust open! Until next time!