Back From Oblivioin
Seems like I’ve been on a hiatus for some time. I’ve tried to figure out why it is I’ve not been compelled to write more frequently as I have in the past and it dawned on me that as my life has been settling into a comfortable rythym I don’t need the diary as therapy. It used to be an avenue for me to spill out my troubles and all the trash in my life I didn’t want. Well I guess it worked. I feel like I’ve cleaned myself out completely of all the toxins that were poisoning me. Toxins being the negativity that was invading and infecting every aspect of my life.
Work has improved and become at least bearable. I’m actually sensing a certain level of respect coming from Mike. I didn’t see that coming but I’ll take it. Don’t get me wrong, he can still be an ass but it’s gotten much better but it wasn’t all him changing. I had to do some changing too. I can’t believe I’ve been here almost a year already. That went by pretty quickly.
My relationship with Greg continues to grow and I fall more in love with him each day. I really have reached the point in my life where I AM content with who I am, who I’m with and where we’re at. It’s comfortable, warm and safe. I’ve never felt so free. Greg has been absolutely amazing and I think we’ve both learned what real compromise is. Our life is splendtacularificful! It’s great to be here. It’s like a continuous high and the lows don’t seem as low anymore.
Greg and I are planning to go to Universal Studios for Halloween Horror Nights this year. We had begun going from its inception but a few years ago we backed off going as it was the same ole’ thing. Last year we went to Busch Gardens for their Halloween scarefest. It was pretty awesome I must say. Of course it wasn’t nearly as crowded with the approaching Hurrican Wilma at the time but it was filled enough to make it a howl. This year we’re taking Jonathan and his girlfriend. They’re not hanging out with us, just getting a lift from us. They’re meeting a pretty good size group of friends there. Greg and I don’t mind. Jonathan told his girlfriend about Greg and I which I thought was pretty cool. I’m glad that he’s not afraid of it.
Jonathan’s been spending a lot more time with me since school started. He stays at our place two to three nights a week so we made up a room for him with a bed and all so he can feel more at home when he’s there. Besides, I didn’t want him sleeping on the couch every night and having to go to school in the morning. He needs good sleep on a bed so that’s what he’s getting.
I recently did a tile job for one of the guys here at work. As a matter of fact I just finished it this past weekend. We’d agreed on $1500 and I told him I’d try to get it knocked out in two weekends. He was in a big hurry to get it done and as it turns out his slab (floor) was a bit of a problem. To make a long story short, he came into work this morning and told me that he found a couple of places that would have done the tiling for less than I had offered to do. He then tells me he’s not all that happy with the way it came out. He likes it but wanted it spot on perfect and doesn’t feel that’s what he got. So here he is, sitting at my desk asking me to renegotiate the price for the work I’d already done. I was so taken aback that all I could say at that point was to just pay me what you want. I couldn’t believe he was saying this. I felt awful. I busted my ass to get it done as good as I could given the troubles I encountered with the flooring along the way. Not to mention that he was in such a big hurry to have me get it done, so sure, I rushed and a little bit of the quality suffered. I shouldn’t have let myself be swayed from working the way I knew was best. But I like Frankie and I waned to do him a favor.
In the end, he’s disappointed in the work I did. He wound up giving me a thousand dollars instead of the fifteen hundred we’d agreed on. I was so disgusted with him, the job and my own self criticizing that I told him not even to bother paying me at all if he was unhappy with it all. He said no, he wouldn’t do that and part of me is glad he refused but another part of me wanted him to just take the damned money and stick it up his ass. He said he could have done a better job. Then my question is why didn’t you do it? Why’d you ask me? I gotta let it go or I’m gonna let it eat me up and it’s so not worth it. I’m keeping the money. I was on my hands an knees all weekend for two weekends in a row and I don’t mean in a good wy mind you. My work and time has to be worth something, so period!
I’m at work and there’s plenty for me to do so I’m gonna get to it.
Marriage is love.
