Father’s Day (Part I)

I have two distinct topics to address here today. Both have to deal with Father’s Day in one form or another. However, one is happy and the other isn’t so I’m torn between mixing them both into one entry. I’ll probably make two entries. The feelings behind both are so powerful that it would be an insult to one to couple it with the other.

Yea, I think that’s what I’ll do. Separate entries. It’s the only way around it that I can see….

This morning I woke to Kyle having climbed in bed again. I guess he doesn’t care much for the crib anymore. He’d rather sleep in the bed and I don’t mind having him there. Except when he decides to kick the hell out of me.

After a little coaxing I got him to go back to sleep and it was ten-thirty before I got up and when I say I got up I mean Kyle and me. Courtney was far behind. Jonathan, much to my surprise, was already awake in the living room.

I made my way to the coffee machine as is my routine. Courtney came up behind me and hugged onto me and wished me a Happy Father’s Day. It’s funny how it means something different to me now then it has in years past. Must have something to do with age.

I started lunch since the kids wanted my special pork ribs and in order to make them the way they like I have to boil them for an hour or so first. While I did that the kids were sitting at the counter and we were just yacking up a storm about this and that.

When the ribs were done we parked ourselves in front of the television to watch "Bloodrayne", a B sci-fi movie about vampires. The acting was terrible and the storyline left much to be desired but we enjoyed it.

It had been cloudy when we woke up and by the time we were in to the movie the clouds gave way to a steady rain. I couldn’t help looking out the window and thinking how this was just a perfect day. No stress. Just relaxing.

After the movie I didn’t have to twist anyone’s arm, except Kyle, to take a nap. It was already three o’clock and I knew they’d be going home soon but a nap just seemed appropriate…..so we did.

I guess we slept for about an hour and a half or so. Margaret called me fifteen minutes after I woke to tell me she’d be here shortly so I woke up Jonathan and Courtney to get them ready since everyone was still in their bed clothes. (I told you it was a lazy day!)

They left around six-thirty and Greg was home very soon after. Jonathan told me that there were a few cards scattered here and there throughout the house for me as he left. Courtney and Kyle had hand made a gigantic card for me and given it to me already.

Kind of funny but I used to think differently about things and it’s only now that I’m seeing the changes in me that other’s have told me they see. For instance, in the past I’d have been really upset if I hadn’t gotten a card from the children. And since Jonathan hadn’t signed the card Courtney and Kyle gave me I would have been all twisted about it and it would have consumed my whole day. Literally!

While the thought had briefly entered my thoughts, it was gone just as fast with no residual effects. I think I’ve learned how to let go of things that really aren’t significant.

Turns out that letting it go was the right choice as Jonathan had left me three cards in the house and I suppose I found them in the order he might have wanted me to. The first two were funny and I could see how much he must have liked getting them for me. He always likes getting me funny cards. He’s got a love for laughter and I’m so taken with that side of him.

The third card I found in my bedroom on my bed. It was the biggest of the three and it was a Hallmark. My first son gave me a card, that as a young boy I had often wondered if I’d ever receive, filled with words that I believe he meant. Not the kind of card you pick up and read and think, hey, this is the right thing to give to someone even though you know it doesn’t really speak to the relationship you have with the recipient. No, this one said what I think Jonathan thinks of me and I was taken aback and flooded with an emotion I can’t explain.

I wonder all the time if I’m doing right by my children? Am I teaching them right? Am I a good example? Do I instill in them that which is right and just or am I something of a character to them that they simply acknowledge and then dismiss?

Well this card that Jonathan gave me, while I know many dad’s received today, spoke to me in someone else’s words but with Jonathan’s heart. Again I was filled with this feeling of love and accomplishment that I’ve been feeling of late and I felt joy. Nothing short of joy.

They’ve gone home with mom now but they gave me a delightful weekend that reminded me how precious a laugh and a hug can be. I take so much away from spending time with them. We have such a good time in spite of the discipline I still have to keep intact. I think they even understand that at this point. Jonathan and Courtney, that is. Kyle’s still all about him right now but I think even he gets it. All I have to do is speak in a certain tone with him and I can see in his eye’s that he realizes he’s crossed a line and gone too far.

This was my fifteenth Father’s Day and they keep getting better. The love of my children and my love for them is stronger than anything I know. I wish for all the dads out there the same happiness that my children have brought to my life.