First Filling

*sniggers*

Chosen for it’s double entendre quality, the selected title of this entry bet the two other finalists (“Fill Me In” and “Phil the Tooth”) to become the public name of entry 366. 366 entries. Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

Anyway, today I got filled. There was an empty space in my life and he filled it. Turned out my bottom-right molar had managed to empty itself of, well, toothiness and was now a shell which needed to be filled. With a filling. I discovered this as I was lying back in the dentist’s chair (well, not his chair; he was sitting on a stool next to the chair), so I had to decide there and then whether I wanted a composite blah-blah-blah filling that was white, expensive and would need to be replaced at some stage. Or did I want the traditional silver/mercury mix, not the kind of mix that would make you go mad though as mercury tends to do. I chose the silver. So then the fucker jabbed me in the gum without telling me. I squealed in pain, and realising the dentist musn’t realise how sore it was I grabbed his hand and tried to pull it away. Y’see, he didn’t actually tell me he was injecting my gums with local anasthetic, he just it without warning me. So I wasn’t expecting it. I’m usually fine with injections, but not with unexpected stabbings. “Never grab the dentist” he said, joking. Next time, I’ll grab him by the dangly bits if he does it unannounced.

I had to wait for 20 minutes while the anasthetic did it’s thang. It never ceases to amaze/bother me that anasthetic is poison. It supresses the nerves so they don’t transmit pain. But a little bit more anasthetic, and they won’t transmit full stop. Yousa be dead, it do terrible things, TERRIBUBBLE THINGS, as Jar Jar would say. Jar Jar should be put to sleep. Anyway, I waited as my jaw slowly died while reading a copy of Vanity Fair from June 1997. For some strange reason, the dentist had it in his surgery. Strange, because on the cover was Princess Diana. There was a feature in it of Diana in some of the dresses she was auctioning for charity. A lot of the pictures were used in various tributes to her, but most weren’t. She was so beautiful. I mean…..wow.

The dentist called me in and did his worse. And as with anything a dentist has ever done with me, I think it didn’t work. Not that I’ve had a lot done, dental-wise. My teeth have always been fine, today was the first time I got a filling. And the reason I needed one today was only because of my chewing-gum habit, the one that leads me to have a packet of Doublemint on me at all times. Because I always chew on the same tooth, it took the brunt of the damage. He took out the decay, left me with an unsettling empty vessel of a tooth while he prepared the filling and pumped it full of silver goo. AndI think some fell out. Damn dentists. The anasthetic wore off while I was in the cinema today, and now I feel like someone punched me in the jaw. Ouch.

j

p.s. Saw Attack of the Clones today, first time I saw a Star Wars film in a cinema. I’ll talk about it some other time.