Serve, eh?

1. Spell your name backwards: hpesoJ

2. Where do you live?: The real kingdom, where there were actually kngs at one stage

3. Describe yourself in three words: Camp, loud, awkward

4. Who is your worst enemy?: Mammy

5. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?: Catherine’s duck

6. What is the latest you’ve ever stayed up?: 30 hours or something one summer a few years ago

7. Ever been to Belgium?: Nope

8. What’s your favorite coin?: €2 cos when you see that silver coin in your change, you know things aren’t that bad

DESCRIBE YOUR:

9. Wallet: Black Lowe Alpine thing my sister didn’t like. It’s got velcro on it, a space for notes and a little compartment for coins. Not as girly as it sounds. And I have a pic of Caffy and me in one of the card slots, which is funny cos she’s a bit of a card slut herself as anyone present in the Bodega on Saturday can vouch for….

10. Brush: Haven’t brushed my hair in at least ten years

11. Toothbrush: Green cheapo Oral B jobbie I bought on a whim in the Centra on Grand Parade in Cork after I forgot to bring mine down.

12. Jewellery worn daily: None, don’t do jewellry

13. Pillow cover: Green and blue. My bed is quite…..odd.

14. Blanket: Same green and blue thang goin on

15. Coffee cup: Not to crazy on coffee, the only time I ever have it is in work and that’s out of a polystyrene cup. Polystyrene – because it has ALL the styrenes

16. Sunglasses: Only wear them driving i.e. when they’re actually needed. I wouldn’t bother with them in hot weather cos I tan around them and am left with panda eyes

17. Underwear: Cheapest, blackest, unsexiest. Always

18. Shoes: Brown moccassins. Always. Except in work, where I now wear proper skinny shoes that click satisfyingly on the ground

19. Handbag: Gladrags. Grandad. Sweat. You could buy them.

20. Favorite top: Catherine’s shekshee corset

21. Favorite pants: My favourite trousers are my dark blue cheepy Burton jeans. Perfect fit, fall nicely over my shoes.

22. Cologne/Perfume: This season, I will be mostly wearing…..Armani Mania

23. CD in stereo right now: Until Sunday, Coldplay’s A Rush Of Blood To The Cock but since then I….er….bought the News of the World and listened to this dance CD mixed by Chicane and I can’t take it out!! Arghhh!! I like the noises off it…. *cringes*

24. Tattoos: A one hit wonder Russian lesbo-duo

25. Piercings: Brosnan

26. Wearing: Grey t-shirt, dark green shorts. I wear shorts in the house a lot for some reason…..

27. Hair: Short. Uneven. Marine-esque

28. Makeup: Eyeliner. Sometimes

29. In my mouth: Faint hint of custard cream

30. In my head: Filth

31. Wishing: She was here. A lot

32. After this: Making tea

33. Talking to: Mam

34. Eating: Creme du custard au Tesco

35. Do you like candles: Where?

36. Do you like hot wax: As an altar boy, yes. Spilling it on your hand and letting it harden was a sign of prowess in “the game”. Alas, talking of altar boys holding something in their hand and letting it harden will no doubt provoke giggles from some of the congregation assembled here today…..

37. Do you like incense: No, Sis has dat shit goin all over the house and it never fails to get on my tits

38. Do you like the taste of blood: Yep

39. Fetishes: Ask her

40. If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason: Anyone who switches off power switches to hand-dryers in toilets forfeits their right to life

41. Person you wish you could be with right now: Her

42. What/Who is next to you: The radiator

43. What do you want done with your body when you die: Bury it in Ballycastle. The Mayo one, now, not the one in the North in Ian Paisley’s constituency….

44. Do you believe in love: Yes, it really is remarkable

45. Do you believe in soulmates: I kinda do really. I think there are only a few people you’ll ever meet with whom you’ll get on really well with, and they could be known as soulmates I suppose

46. Do you believe in love at first sight: No, I believe in “mmm, yes please!” at first sight. But love at first sight is inherently shallow, since you’d only be going by what’s on the outside. Unless you’re a CAT scan operator or something

47. Do you believe in Heaven: Yes, and involves handcuffs and an aerosol of cream

48. Do you believe in forgiveness: Yes

49. Do you believe in God: Yes

50. What’s something that you wish people would understand: People

51. What’s something you wish you could understand better: I wish I could understand the tax system a bit better. I always think I’m being robbed, but I can’t prove it

52. What’s one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow?: Have a nice day

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