Things I should say

I wrote down everything I had to say just now in a private entry. I haven’t written one in around two years, mainly because my huge ego refuses to let my “work” go unnoticed. It feels…lighter now that I got some things written down. It’s very hard to say certain things in a public diary, so usually I let them go unsaid. But I got something down now, and I’m glad I did. It’s a little bit too “raw” to go on the public end of this, because I tone down so much for this diary it’s getting silly. It felt good to write something so honest, so this entry shall be honest. Sometimes…in fact most of the time, I write this diary to try and entertain because my life can be so god awful mediocre.

It was very, very difficult today to try and get back to normal. I’d be sat there at my desk under the fluorescent light thinking of huge bars in Cork, sitting on a couch under some stairs and laughing. Being so relaxed and surrounded by lovely people, I could cry. And then the headset drones and I take another call.

I begin to ask myself is Australia really the cure? Isn’t it just jumping way ahead of myself? Why do I need to go to the other side of the world to find myself? Is the Two Grand Plan really the ultimate solution for “Joe’s Woes”? Am I running away from what I really need? Friends?

Policies to be formulated. If I do cancel the Two Grand Plan (which would be remarkably like the government doing a u-turn on the SSIA), I’d still have €1000 in the bank, which is always nice. And only the OD folk know of it, so no public humiliation unless Cassie decides to mosey on over and berate my spineless efforts at saving with a placard outside my house.

To cheer myself up, I’ve found a lovely picture of this really intelligent, sexy girl with pale skin and a penchant for double entendres with a bit of blue so I stuck it on my front page.

j