What actually happened

Catherine and I departed Casa JoeCat at 9.13am

We drove 22km into the south city centre of Dublin

Catherine hopped out, sent a work email from her office and hopped back in

It now felt a little late to be collecting her contacts as well, so we made straight for the Port Tunnel and we began the 176km drive to Belfast International Airport

Then Newry happened. Due to everything in the Republic costing tons these days, southerners are flocking to Norn Iron´s closest city to the border for cheap tat. Said southerners caused a traffic jam from junction 20 of the M1 (the last exit in the Republic) to just outside Newry city centre. The mother of all traffic jams, which took a whole hour to get through

We sped though the North, tackling Lisburn – ugliest bastard of a town ever – and getting out some B road to the airport.

Arrived at this fancy car park where I’d paid for parking already. Apparently all I have to do is insert my credit card at the barrier for verification and something scans our number plate. We park and our Corsa should be safe for a week or so

Dropped our one suitcase in the Bag & Drop as we’ve already checked-in, despite getting there 5 minutes after the Bag & Drop closed

Catherine realised that we hadn´t gone to the right car park, so I ran out, got the car out of the wrong car park, parked it in the right one, ran back to Cath, all good in the hood.

As we waited for our sandwiches – boarding began in 5 mins and we had no time for a proper breakfast – I nearly threw a wobbly when I realised I´d forgotten my driving licence. One insanely-fast fat-man jog there and back later and we were sorted.

Amazingly, I did actually buy an Irish Times to bring on the journey

Went past security with the boarding passes I printed the night previously

Boarded plane, sweating like a rapist

Plane landed in Lanzarote and we collected solitary suitcase about 20-30 mins later

Hertz knew who I was because I had also checked-in with them earlier. All sorted surprisingly-quickly

We drove to the apartment and holidaying ensued (not “ensured”, apols for rare typo)

So I´m here in Matagorda with 19 mins of internet time left. Time to catch up on favourites. The weather has been lovely, 22-23 degrees with a nice breeze. We got a nice Toyota Yaris for the week, so I don´t have to walk anywhere. And I´m not thinking about work.

Lots more to mention but I gots to go. Until then, amuse yeerselves with the following selection of Spanish keyboard characters:

ç

¿

¡

ñ

Ñ

Well that´s it