I well know your deeds

 Yesterday was a day that was lived quite hopefully. 

I slept very late and ate ice cream for breakfast. I watched delightful little cooking shows on PBS before getting dressed and facing the 100 degree heat Detroit has been melting under all week. I walked to work and had a short shift. The thing that made the day more hopeful was the sight of other employees’ paychecks on the back office’s desk.  This was significant because I started at the beginning of a pay period. This means I’ll get a check a week earlier than I expected, and it will be one large enough to finally fix my car. My room mate was happy to hear this too. She also expressed appreciation that the house looked really clean, which made me feel, for once, appreciated.

I talked with my family on the phone yesterday. Friends and family are trying to adjust to my change in phone number (brought about by the fact Sprint finally got fed up and cut off the number they’ve gotten used to over the last five years). It was good to hear they were okay and well, and that they miss me as much as I do them.

I also found comfort in something I sometimes take for granted– Bible reading.

Jehovah’s Witnesses study the Bible everyday. It’s as big a part of our worship as preaching door-to-door, prayer, meeting attendance and meditation. Sometimes, even the most pious person can get stuck in a rut, and feel like they’re not getting anything out of it. However, yesterday, I was reading up on building faith–especially faith that everything is gonna be okay– and it helped me to feel better than I have in… well, a while.

For the first time in about a month, I danced. I used to practise every day.I fancy myself a good ballroom dancer, and I took ballet and jazz in college. I just haven’t felt like dancing, and that’s always the first sign for me that I’m not feeling well. But yesterday, I stayed up all night and played music and danced.

Today, I’m going into work not feeling as worn out as I usually do. 

Depression and angst runs so very strongly in my family, and with the crazy economic things I’ve been dealing with, it was even harder to remain focused. I’m constantly working on doing things that make me feel good.

The first thing I’m going to do when I get my car back is take my room mate out to dinner. The next thing I’m going to do is go rock-climbing with old friends.  And the final thing I’m going to do is ask for a weekend with no hours and drive to Northern Michigan before the resorts all close. I already have a bag for it packed in my mind– two dresses that don’t wrinkle, nice underwear, a good bathing suit, a pair of strappy sandals and a good nonfiction book for the beach. 

Hey, today’s a hopeful day too 🙂