Fed up…..
My first time writing.
I have to get all my frustration out. I am about to snap…
My boyfriend Mike of 6 years, almost 7, is going to be the death of me. And no hes not doing anything to physically hurt me. He just so hateful.
Anything I do for my 2 boys, Gage 11 and Ethan 15, has to be an arguement. But when it comes to his son, Koen 7, I have to do everything for him.
Now while I consider Koen my son, because he has been with me for our whole relationship, Mike always rubs it in my face that he is his son. Stop yelling at his son. Stop telling his son what to do.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I love him but hes killing me inside. He yells at me all the time but when I yell at him, I’m the crazy one…
End rant for now, until tomorrow, when the arguing starts all over again…
First off, welcome to the site. And I’m a random person, so you can ignore me because I only have this entry to go by, but this doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. To me, I always ask these questions: Do you believe they can change? If the answer is no, do you think you can tolerate it for a long period of time? If the answer to that is no, then it might be time to consider ending it, even though that’s incredibly tough to think about. I don’t know you but you deserve to be happy
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My mother married a man who loathed me due to his jealousy of me. Whenever my mom would do anything for me, get anything for me, or spend time with me, he’d get into a snit about it. He’d tell my mother he liked me. She must have had to ask because he certainly didn’t act like it. Once, when we were all spending the night at my grandparents’ house, I was standing in a corner of the kitchen and he saw me from a doorway and he stuck his tongue out at me. I told my mom and she didn’t believe me. She said I must have seen him wrong. He denied it and told her he’d never do such a thing to me. They were married for 10 years and this kind of thing happened over and over. She divorced him when she caught him being nasty to me by breaking my small things around the house. She caught him sticking skewers into a soap sculpture I made for her.
Anyway, that shit stays inside of a person. Your kids are going to resent you for this unless you make a grand gesture of removing them from a place where they aren’t fully welcome. And they will hurt. Forever. Of course we all carry wounds, but you don’t want to be a party to that.
This guy is a jerk. If you raised his son, he’s your son too. He’s hurting his son every time he says that. He’s creating a tug of war inside him. His son feels good that his father is claiming him, but bad that he’s negating his experience of having a mother figure. This child is growing up confused about who he can claim, and who has his back. You should never speak ill of the other parent. It always creates conflict inside the child. Even if the parent isn’t a good parent, you don’t say that to the child. It’s like stealing that parent from them.
Also? YOU don’t deserve this. Find a kind person who values your contributions and respects you.
Good luck. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
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