HNY

I never enjoyed New Years Eve. Such an anticlimactic thing – the build-up and then hurrah! and then what?

Drunks crying, bad weather, headaches…arguments, dangerous car rides… no thanks.

When I was married to the kids’ father, he often decided to unburden himself on New Years Eve to me, then forbid me to talk about it with him after.

‘I have a daughter somewhere’ ‘what?’ ::gong, gong, gong:: ::Happy New Year::

‘I am not going to talk about it ever again.’

or

‘I might have Multiple Sclerosis’

‘you went to a doctor and they said that?’

‘I am just not going to talk about it.’ ::Happy New Year!::

It was horrid. He pushed those buttons because he knew I cared deeply and his bullying relationship style required buttons to press. I allowed him to install many and have been having them removed over time.

Still, as the daughter of, sister of, ex-wife of, and mother of a drunk – I don’t handle drinking parties well. I avoid them whenever possible.

And so – tonight – I will cook, stay in, and work out my goals for the year.

2013 saw me alone in a new city 1800 miles from my home of 30 years; Away from all friends and family; striving to meet new friends and get to know myself.

It found me very sick all of the sudden and pointed the way to a few insights that gave me a medical breakthrough I’ve been dreaming of for years.

It had me crying in loneliness and laughing and gasping at nature with the Redwoods and Grey Whales. I ate the best, and most healthy foods of my life, and landed a great deal on a little house with a garden.

The job is everything I every hoped for in work and this year landed me a couple of awards and promotions.

My children are as well as can be expected and Matt graduated from business school as a CPA. I’d say it was a fine year.

If you are going out, be careful.