Bleakness sets in again

Ive been reading …. searched out Neurontin on the net, Ive learned its not recommended for treatment alone for bi-polar by Dr’s… FDA says its only for epilpsy, but I knew that part…

So now I have worries… not recommend alone.. but in combination with other psycotherapy drugs. So now I question my dr’s choices. I havent heard from my therapist to reschedual our next appointment… my insurance has decided I only get two more days of group therapies and Im back to out patient… Change… just when I get settled in and can talk about things Im being moved again. Will I ever get to sit with one set of Dr’s and figure out exactly what is going on with me? I doubt it. Im really begining to think that no one even the Dr’s dont really care… Even Ethan tonight when I said I was feeling depressed seemed kinda like… I dont know not understanding.

Im really trying to remember that my feelings are just my way of looking at things, not what is true.. but Im really feeling as if no one understands me. That its like no one cares… Like everyone has given up on me. I am ready to do the same… It would be nice to just say fuck it all and move to my mom’s house.