Chenin

I met this girl today…. from the site Ive been at all the time my addiction, soul exchange. Well they have a irc chat channel and Ive met some really cool people. People away from my others places of play online. Away from the RP on undernet where Jordan seems to be all the time… away from NWT where I constantly feel I dont fit in and am constantly judged.. away from everything I had to share with anyone I got close to. Its like running away from the hurt and the frustration and the lost friends and the the feeling of judgement, but this place is actually people Im liking and I fit in. For now its a good way to rebuild my self confidance in myself.

So today I met Chenin.. way awsome person way cool had dinner at the block of orange at the TGI Friday’s that’s there then we did some music shopping. Way cool to find someone who likes the same techno I do. We are going to see if we can find a Rave this weekend. I wont do any Xtc as much as I’d really like to, but I havent done any drugs since Halloween and I havent really had any alcohol for over a month. Tonight I admit I had one mixed drink with dinner but I skipped my meds this past week while I was fighting the bronchitis I have. Yeah I know I really shouldnt but Ive been to sick to care… lots of sleeping while Im sick and not depressed sleeping pure just cuz Im sick sleeping.

Joey was around online last night. We shared a very minimul amount of words. I miss him like mad I miss how close of friends we were. Its one love I dont think I’ll ever get over. Damn I loved him when I first met him and have ever since … it just grew the longer we knew each other.

Rebekah is suppose to be getting my elephant from Jaki who got it from Byron while she was there. Hopefully I’ll get that in the mail soon. I havent really seen Rebekah much online because she’s got this course she wanted to get into and she’s been busy with that. I’ll email her in a couple of day’s see if Jaki’s back from Australia. Jaki hasnt written in her OD since she left so Im thinking she may not be back yet. I cant wait to get my elephant back, its weird Im trusting it to get to me via two girls Ive never met in real life….. I talked to Byron the morning after Jaki arrived to remind him to send it on, considering Jaki was with him we talked about some things we probably shouldnt have… its hard though because we used to be so close. I miss our friendship a lot. Dont miss being his girl friend he flirted with way to many other girls, but I miss how much we used to talk and how he used to always make me smile.

Another friend I really miss is Dunc. I think Im the one who really has pushed that friendship away… I was talking to someone about how much their voice reminds me of Dunc’s it was uncanny. The only difference was Dunc has that nice soft Canadian accent while this other friend though he denies it has a valley accent, just like a valley girl. Its what he gets for living out in the valley though… ::laughs to herself::

Im feeling rather meloncholy even though I made a new friend…. Jason hasnt called me in two days and I cant seem to get a hold of him… Im really really worried he’s in trouble…… ::sighs::

life sucks sometimes….